You know the one.
The one in 2505 Skyview. It's been the most active house on the block for well over a year now, vacancies notwithstanding. All others pale in comparison.
It was about one year ago that I started my Kravitz reports here on this blog regarding the goings on there as I noticed the then-new neighbors, who at that time I'd nicknamed "Mr. and Mrs. SawBoy" (due to the constant home improvement power saw and hammering noises coming from there). But of course it wasn't the first time I'd gossiped about the shenanigans over at 2505...who can forget the Boo-Boos?
But with the implementation of the two spy security cameras conveniently positioned to survey the entirety of the whole western side of 2505, it was now a Gladys Kravitz festival of "peek-a-boo, I see-u" anytime I desired. And what a spectacle we've witnessed.
From the get-go, later in the month, while I was away on a cruise, with the introduction of the brass sneer of the neighbor to the farther side of 2505, the one from 2451, we're introduced to Andy, who I nickname "NoFu," short for Nosey Fuck. And he'd turn out to be one of the main characters in our little Lakeview drama.
The SawBoys eventually get renamed The Sanfords as they rapidly transform the postage-stamp exterior grounds of their humble little single-wide trailer home into a 1970s Watts junkyard. They and their curiously-hued occasional-day-laborer progeny are convivial enough but, like their Boo-Boo predecessors, practically live on their porch, drinking, kibitzing, smoking like chimneys and having NoFu over every day. This last part was a departure from the Boo-Boo playbook.
Though NoFu apparently had already bought his home from the Balls (yes, the same Balls I bought mine from) during the time of the Boo-Boos, he wasn't in their social circle, apparently, so he wasn't over at 2505 then at all, as I recall. But I bet he tried. NoFu has that way about him.
And after the Sanfords bid adieu to fair Lakeview for mysterious reasons after taking up residence for just a few months, the house sat vacant as it depreciated further, month after month, and was eventually reduced to a price which surely saw the Sanfords getting fleeced. But all the time, NoFu was evidently assigned by them the task of ad hoc caretaker since he'd still make his daily rounds, dutifully checking on the place in his quirky, fidgety Barney Fife-like manner.
Then this July, a buyer. From what I can tell, the only serious tour the realtor ever gave. I posted the pics of the interior reno done and frankly, you can see why. If you ask me, I'd almost have preferred it be left as it was when the Boo-Boos had it. Ol' Fred Sanford (aka his real name, Dan) really wasn't very good at interior design.
But Pam was in and she was soon christened May-May. And she and NoFu have been quite busy all summer long tormenting me.
Oh not consciously on their part (at least the logical side of me says). It's just that they, like all the others before them, make this porch their domicile prima. And as such, I hear, see and smell them all the freakin' time, every waking hour of the day.
Why am I so transfixed with 2505? What hold does it sway over me?
Think about ol' Gladys for a minute...
Why was she so fixated on the Stevens? I mean, did she have any real, hardcore evidence that they were "up to no good?" I could be wrong, but I think she didn't even know what the "real deal" was. It was made clear in the premise of the show that the weird shit Gladys saw was circumstantial and though she couldn't explain it, I don't think she once actually suspected that Samantha was a witch. Being the timeframe and the obvious parody the writers of the show were implying, Gladys may have been more likely to think the Stevens were Soviet sleeper agents using secret technology or something. Of course, you could also go down a similar rabbit hole and surmise the whole idea that Samantha and her fam WERE secret agents of some kind and the whole witchcraft thing was made up to explain the phenomenal psychic abilities they all had been genetically-altered by their shadow governments to have. Yes, even little Tabitha!
So maybe, just maybe, Lady May-May and NoFu ARE secret agents of a shadow government. They're meeting regularly to discuss what they're going to do about me because they know I'm on to them. They know I'm watching them. They know. They know.
Or maybe I just really need to get more sleep.