I look at this picture and this is how this looks...
Me throwing my shoulders back, hands akimbo, glaring down from my 6'1" height at the little fidgety old man NoFu, scolding him for making a do do in my yard.
Well, here's the real story...
I'm in my house, chillin' like a villin', as usual, of course, and I hear some pounding sounds from next door. No problem, I thought. NoFu must be doing some fixit shit around Lady May-May's house.
NoFu's a regular fucking feature there every day, drinking beers, shootin' the shit on her porch with her and his girlfriend (ménage à trois anyone?) and just generally almost living there. I'm frankly batshit fed up with his non-stop jibber jabbering that I can hear even through my walls so a little banging of a hammer without his running mouth is actually a relief.
A while later, there's a faint knock on my door. I know his knock...it's him. He's lucky I just happened to be reading with no Civ V music or watching a movie or something, otherwise I wouldn't have heard his sissy little knock. I get up and go right to the door since, unusually, I also happened to be fully dressed since I just went out to my front stoop to get a package.
He asks me if it'd be okay with me if he lays down stakes, which he's already planted, and fastens straps from the roof of May-May's porch to them.
You see, he has this belief that large elastic straps, tying down the corners of things like aluminum awnings and now, I guess, screened-in porches, will prevent them from getting blown off during a hurricane. I'm telling you, this guy's an idiot.
He also states that a big objective of these straps would be to block any golf cart traffic driving through the passage between Pam and my house.
I objected to the fact that the stakes are clearly on my side of the center line between the two properties. Of course I acknowledged, as he well knows, that we all don't own our lands per se, but I think most of us in the park respect each others space and keep a fair and centered line between the yards. I reminded him that I had a similar discussion with Doreen before when she was plopping ornaments throughout the side yard and rested a plant right near my carport. Doreen immediately agreed to respect the side yard center line and all was cool from there. Her Sanford & Son menagerie didn't traverse the boundary evermore.
He hemmed and hawed but I figured he got my drift. And no, despite how the above picture looks, I didn't lord over him like I was the King of Siam or something.
But here's the kicker...
I watched him from my spy, er, I mean security cameras and instead of removing the stakes, he took a post hole digger, made a hole right where the stakes were planted (on my side of the boundary) and buried them in the hole, covered them up with just half an inch of dirt on the top of the almost-exposed top of the steel stakes.
So my main objection was that the stakes and the attached straps would get in the way of my mowing that area. He said he mows that. But he doesn't mow as frequently as I do so I would still need to mow every other week or so according to my preference on how I want my lawn to look.
I'm getting the creepy feeling that he's a bit psycho and he buried the stakes with just a bit near the surface so that I would run across the metal stake tops when I mowed! And with my electric Chinese-made cheap mower, the steel blade of my mower would shatter striking something like that, shards of sharp metal shrapnel would smash through the plastic shell of the cheaply-constructed mower body and fly out to embed into the flesh of my legs!
If this is the case -- and I can only hope it's a misunderstanding or my weird imagination -- then Bad NoFu, INDEED!
EDIT: Next morning. Here's the second golf cart trip of the day they've taken, the first, in the dark before sunrise at 6am. NoFu's already told me he drives this thing in the bike lane of 27. I included a shot of what that looks like for reference as the second pic. These guys are freakin' crazy for sure. Welp, if they get wiped out by some 18-wheeler barreling down this dangerous road at 60 miles per hour because even though this is "bright orange" it's still a little fucking golf cart with no business being on a very busy major trans-Floridian highway! I guess then there'll be two more vacant houses in the hood.
