Saturday, October 31, 2009

One Degree Of Separation

The ages old Kevin Bacon game not withstanding, it is said we're all connected to one another by no more than six degrees of separation.

Well I say, that in our cyber-connected world and the ubiquitous use of social networking sites like Facebook, it's now coming down to one degree of separation. It's not a 100% yet as there are still some Neanderthals out there who shy away from computers in general let alone Facebook et al, but it's getting there.

A few weeks ago I got a message and friend request through FB from the girl who I took to my Freshman Year High School Prom. She still lives in the hometown, in fact in the Social Corner district so not a very cheery existence for her.

Her hobbies appear to be crafting, complaining about her multiple car accident injuries, getting fat, collecting old photos of herself and praying to the Catholic saints (and maybe sometimes Jesus).

She wanted me to scan and email any pictures I had of us on that one date we had, the prom. Huh? I felt like emailing her back telling her I don't even have any pics of myself from back then why would I have pics of her. It did remind me of the fact that my mom did actually take several photos of us in our dress-up clothes that evening as we were headed out to the Bocce Club.

It was a semi-formal so I was dressed in my father's polyester light-brown 3-piece suit that was a smidgen too big for me and Karen (the girl's name) was in a homemade pink chiffon mu mu gown cinched in a somewhat Empire fashion (way before that style became vogue again) with a stitched on red crushed velvet cape, clasped with a faux ivory cameo. Yeah...hideous. Man, wasn't I enough of a social retard at school. I'm sure she made it worse. I only asked her because I knew she had no other takers and she was obviously ga ga over me.

Well, once I emailed her back and told her those pics were long lost, and filled her in on the fact that I was gay, I never heard from her again. I'm surprised she didn't drop me as a FB friend.

Another Facebook reunion happened just a few days ago.

My sister of all people.

She wants to strike up a friendship and open dialogue again. I said okay. She wants me to play those stupid FB games like Yoville and Farmville or whatever. I told her I wasn't interested in that but we could talk.

I think something's going on because she mentioned her "life was falling apart" right now. And for her to reach out to me is big. She's just as stubborn, if not more so, than me. I'd assumed long ago that we'd never speak to each other again for the rest of our lives.

If you recall, the last encounter with her was not all that pleasant. After that incident, she had called me in January 2005 to see if I would call Dad. I told her no and asked her to not bother me.

So we'll see how this plays out. I'm not sure how I feel about it growing beyond what it is.

Sometimes it's better if what happens on Facebook, stays on Facebook.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Re-watching "Harold And Maude"

Whenever you need rerouting to the path that follows the true way...that is...the way of reality and sanity, (and a huge dose of humorous nihilism) re-watch "Harold and Maude". It'll do it for ya!

And this song featured in this film can't be beat for a simple reminder of what life should be all about...

Thank You Mr. Obama, From Humanity

The year 1998 was dominated by the saga of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, but it also saw two horrific killings that led to a new federal law signed by President Obama.

On June 7, in Texas, three white men chained an African American named James Byrd to a pickup truck and dragged him to his death; in the early hours of Oct. 7, two men in Wyoming beat up gay teenager Matthew Shepard and left him to die while tied to a fence.

These killings intensified pressure for tougher federal hate-crimes legislation. Today, Obama signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act.

"After more than a decade of opposition and delay, we've passed inclusive hate crimes legislation to help protect our citizens from violence based on what they look like, who they love, how they pray or who they are," Obama said in signing the defense budget bill that includes the new hate-crimes law.

The new law basically expands existing hate-crime protections to outlaw attacks based on sexual orientation or gender, in addition to race, color, religion or national origin.

In a later ceremony devoted to the new law, Obama told supporters, "No one in America should ever be afraid to walk down the street holding the hand of the person they love." He cited statistics that in these past 10 years, there have been more than 12,000 hate crimes based on sexual orientation.

"We will never know how many incidents were never reported at all," Obama said.
Opponents called the hate-crimes bill unnecessary, noting that Shepard's and Byrd's attackers were convicted in state criminal courts. Some critics objected to the inclusion of hate-crimes legislation in a defense budget bill.

"The president has used his position as commander in chief to advance a radical social agenda, when he should have used it to advance legislation that would unequivocally support our troops," said U.S. Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind., chairman of the House Republican Conference.

Pence also argued that the law could be used to curb free speech rights, such as with religions that consider homosexuality a sin.

Gay rights groups hailed the law.

"President Obama and Congress have sent a message that violence against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people is wrong and that our community should not be excluded from the protections of our nation's laws," said Jarrett Barrios, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

In signing the bill, Obama paid tribute to one of its sponsors, the late Sen. Edward Kennedy. He also singled out another longtime advocate: Judy Shepard, Matthew's mother, who personally lobbied the president earlier this year.

"I promised Judy Shepard, when she saw me in the Oval Office, that this day would come, and I'm glad that she and her husband, Dennis, could join us for this event," Obama said.

In a statement, Mrs. Shepard -- who was at the White House again -- said she never dreamed it would take 10 years for the new law to become a reality.

"We are incredibly grateful to Congress and the president for taking this step forward on behalf of hate crime victims and their families, especially given the continuing attacks on people simply for living their lives openly and honestly," Shepard said.

(Posted on USAToday.com by David Jackson)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

1000 mg Stat!


Actually, better make it 2000 mg!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Something Wicked This Way Comes

I remember as a kid reading Ray Bradbury's classic horror/fantasy novel with the eponymous name. Not until reading my bud SK (Steven King, in case you didn't know) soon afterwards did I get such a deep sense of nervous anticipation of an impending evil. The atmospheric feeling painted by Bradbury was totally unnerving, it made you paranoid that just around every corner up ahead there could be lurking your doom.

It all seems to describe to a tee the mood in the air around me lately. I feel a storm is a brewin' and I think it's gonna be a doozie.

So I guess I'll make sure the bunker is well stocked and expect the worst.

What else can one do?

Perhaps just run away?

But if so, methinks I should not tarry long...the skies look rather dark and ominous...I may not make it!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Ants Will Take Care Of It

It's amazing how nature has an answer for every situation.

Did you know ants will quickly disasemble and carry away the carcass of a dead palmetto roach?

It's true, they will. I promise.

As sure as the darkness follows the light.

We are all just tomorrow's food for other things.

I guess it's a good thing only humans undergo gastric bypass surgery.

Otherwise the world would be filled with piles upon piles of dead corpses.

Whew, I guess we're lucky then...

That at least the ants will take care of it.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Magic Of Chamomile Tea

Lately stress has been nearly unbearable. Optimally, exercise would help sweat the stress off, as it did so effectively in the past. But that's still a ways off. And we all know how ineffective drinking is. So instead I fall back on an old love I cultivated way back in the early '80s: Chamomile tea.

Chamomile calms the nerves, focuses the mind and allows a gentle relaxation to take over my body. It's also noted as beneficial for diabetes as well. Last, but not least, it seems to curb my appetite so it could help with weight-loss as well.

So I'm sitting here, sipping my chamomile and peppermint blend, getting ready to settle into bed and sleep soundly through the night until I have to wake up tomorrow morning to face another brutally horrible day.

Slurp.

Slurp.

Ahhhhh.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Laura Hupfel Is A Bitch

I've rarely experienced good female managers in the first place but let me assure you, the worst is my current manager, Laura Hupfel.

I am not alone in my condemnation of her. Every team member I've asked either finds her two-faced, wishy-washy or out right bitchy!

I am compelled to start my own underground Norma Rae movement at work to topple this power queen. She needs to come out of her ivory tower and be thrown down to the cold, dark earth of the shit we peons go through.

Above is posted a picture of her insecure, heavily made-up image for you to remember so that if you see this whore at any of your redneck Central Floridian watering holes, throwing back shots of Jack Daniel's bought for her by the hairy and grizzly fat men lookin' to pop her much used and very smelly cunt, you can point to her, laugh heartily, and hope she just drops dead early to save me from any more of her foolishness.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Mystery Landmark Match Game

Now that Google Maps Street View includes viewer submitted photos for some locations, it's like being there AND taking some snapshots as souvenirs of your "trip".

I spent some time virtually cruisin' the streets of 6 randomly chosen cities across America and found some interesting photos.

Can you match each photo with its correct city?



Monday, October 05, 2009

Obama On Mt. Rushmore!

I think President Obama is going to be looked at as one of our great presidents by our ancestors. Yes, much ballyhoo is made lately, even by SNL's soft opening this past weekend about the current stagnation of much of his promised change. But an entrenched status quo on the part of both parties seems to resist the dramatic upheaval Obama first envisioned and we've now come to the compromise era of his initial presidential term. I think he foresaw this and he has a plan to bring us forth from this point.

My prediction is he will transform this nation as no other president before him and we'll be looking at a true American Golden Age in just a few years from now.

In a further 100 years, once time travel has been discovered, a group of historian fanatics will decide to honor the great man they read about. They'll transport back in time about 10,000 years and use their Atomic Transmutation Guns to carve the face of their hero, Barak Obama, onto the granite escarpment that would eventually be named Mt. Rushmore. But by the 20th century when Borglum decides to create his monument, the image of the future president has all but worn away due the effects of time and erosion over the millennia.

Tonight, just by chance, I looked at an image of today's Mt. Rushmore and I put it all together.

Of course! Why couldn't anyone see this until now?

Here's Mt. Rushmore:

Notice in this close up of the upper left hand side of the mountain, you can just about make out the faint outline of Obama's face:

OMG! I must be the first to notice this!

Excuse me please, I need to call the good folks at Weekly World News!

FLASHBACK SPECIAL: Taboo Sex Revelations

Oh, buckle yourselves in kiddies... I feel inspired by Mackensie Phillips and David Letterman to fess up to my own ancient experiences so securely buried for all these years involving forbidden sex acts:

Early '70s: One weekend afternoon while innocently playing by myself in the woods behind my Morin Heights home, a group of three boys, older than me by about 5 to 8 years or so, definitely in their teens, threaten to beat me up if I don't suck their cocks. I cry and manage to run away without getting my ass kicked.

Another time, perhaps within months of the first encounter, these boys find me again, this time in an even more secluded area of the woods. They again threaten me to 'go down on them' or else now they'll make me sit on a red ant mound. One kid even exposes his dick. It's all veiny and red and uncut..."yuck", I think to myself. I refuse. They make me pull my pants down and bend over a log. Then they gently stick pieces of straw grass in by butthole. Something rustles in the bushes and they get scared and run, leaving me there, balling my eyes out with hay stuck up my ass.

Mid '70s: Not long after moving into our new house on Pearl St., a neighborhood girl named Amy, about my age gets me to take her into the dark niche under our side porch where we strip below the waist and she tries to get me hard so I could fuck her. After ten minutes of her sucking on my limp pre-pubescent cock to no avail, she gives up dejectedly and we hardly ever speak to each other again.

Late '70s: My sister is curious about sex and wants me to "do it" with her. She makes me undress, gets naked herself, and pulls my waist into hers, somehow trying to interlock our genitals. Not enjoying the experience, my penis stays limp and enters nothing. She suggests I force it in and pee into her vagina. I rapidly blush, gather up my clothes and realize this was a stupid idea. "Don't tell, okay?", she begs as I walk away. I never do.

Late '70s: One night while jerking off under the covers I look over to my brother sleeping in his twin bed to my right. It's a hot summer night and he's not wearing a pajama top. The smooth skin of his eleven-year-old torso seems to glow alluringly in the dim light. I quietly get up and stand over him rubbing my raging hard dick furiously. I gently pull down on the loose waistband of his pajama bottoms revealing his bare bubble butt. I bend down and kiss his ass checks as I spill my teen-aged spunk onto the floor.

Another night, my brother catches me jerking off beneath the covers when I think he's asleep. I tell him it feels good and instruct him how he can do it to himself. I offer to do it for him. He agrees. Then I tell him it feels even better if I suck it. He agrees to let me. Then I tell him I could lie next to him positioned so we can suck each other at the same time. At first he's reluctant but I assure him it's "what brothers do". We 69 for a while. His tiny hairless dick gets hard but he's too young to cum. I'm about to shoot my load into his little boy mouth when I hear the door open. I jump back to my bed in a flash. It's mom saying goodnight. She doesn't suspect a thing though we are both likely staring at her like deer in headlights, pulling our sheets to our chins to hide our naked bodies. After she leaves, we stay in our beds and fall to sleep. We never talk about this incident again.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Flash Frozen

Oh how I despise our local cable company.

My "buddies" at Bright House Networks are caught sleeping at the wheel again.

This time, almost all the channels are frozen in time on one image for almost an hour.

Luckily I wasn't really that into the show I was watching so it didn't phase me that much but it just adds yet another snafu to the already long list of problems this cable company has here in Central Florida.

I feel bad for all the viewers watching their favorite prime-time shows only to have their time wasted for a whole hour. And since the shows were frozen, they couldn't even be TIVOed.

Here's a rundown of the channels I flipped thru and analyzed the image during the "freeze". I started late so I got only as far as Channel 10 before the freeze "thawed" and all was right with the TV world once again.

2 (PBS) The chyron reads: "Terry Tempest Williams, writer"...close up of a middle-aged blond woman staring pensively off camera while apperantly being interviewed or filmed for a commentary segment in a documentary.

3 (FOX) A geeky looking guy (a waiter?) wearing a white shirt, black bowtie and black-framed glasses...background, a mustard-colored wall with a tasteful wall lamp and picture hanging on it.

4 (NBC) A police lineup of men with numbers on their chest in the background and an identifying victim? (female) and bearded guy (cop?) with tie and jacket in the foreground.

5 (CBS) Playing normally.

6 (MyNetwork) Same.

7 (ABC) Two guys one black one white walking along a corridor, the black guy carrying a small box. They are shot through the foreground image of an office window through open mini-blinds (I recognize this as a scene from last night's episode of "Flashforward" which was replayed tonite).

8 (CW) A (woman?) cut off by the shot showing only her shoulder and what looks like a billiard cue with a purple and white glass paned window in the background.

9 (Bright House) The "Zap 2 It" viewers guide frozen on 8:25:17 and the "upcoming" lineup for 8:30 thru 9:30 on channels 6 thru 12.

10 (IND) A very blurry blue, green and white abstract image, obviously an in-motion image caught in mid-stream.

Out-of-synch audio and video, frequently rearranged channels, lost channels, intermittently grainy picture, and legendarily confusing customer service, it's the last monopoly you gotta love to hate.

But if you're a TV junkie, needing his regular fix, putting down the remote is easier said than done.

On "Embarqing" and Proto-Dementia

I had a better title than the one above but due to my symptoms of what I call proto-dementia, I can't remember it.

So many stresses have been weighing heavily on me these past couple weeks. And to make matters worse, what one day are solutions to problems, the next day they too become stresses. Basic example: My new doctor put me on Metformin for my diabetes, but it causes me to have diarrhea and I think it's contributing to my forgetfulness and Alzheimer's-like absent-mindedness.

To top it all off, I'm again experiencing sleep-loss, altered consciousness, insecurity and depression. My befuddled mind's solution for this: to develop a renewed passion to just go "embarqing". Embarqing is a new term to describe the overwhelming urge to quit your job, regardless of consequences. Like I did with the Embarq job...thus the name. Oh yes, I've done this action before, but I've just now come to terms with its potential omnipresence for the rest of my working life and have decided to name it for the last time it affected me in a major way.

I met with my new doctor this past Monday and she is so much more sympathetic than my old one. She laid out the facts for me, plain and true. I've got to change my ways. Of course I knew this but now that I've shared with her the true picture of my alcohol abuse and its role in the grand scheme of all my diseases and disorders, things are starting to congeal.

But I sit here and now wonder what good the more focused picture is. It still requires what I seem reticent to commit to; a total lifestyle change.

And lately, when I do seem to make motions towards a better way of living, I fall into a stupor. Not even a dream state, it's not that grand.

And when I come out of it, I'm back to the old ways, without a hitch or a twitch.

It's like I'd hit the rewind button, erasing all the good I'd accomplished and simply returned to doing what I was doing before. All memory of promises and minuscule progresses lost.

Makes me think that perhaps my dementia is no longer in the proto stage.