Saturday, September 28, 2013

Gina Washin' Time!

Oh I'm truly a sick motherfucker in case you didn't already know.

My upstairs neighbor, the one right above me who has been the bane of my existence here for the past year now, occasionally* has these little kids over, one of whom, at least, is likely hers. Anyway, the second they arrive in the parking lot I can tell 'cause these kids literally never shut up. I have no fucking idea how the adult or adults around them can hold back from just bitch slappin' these little terrors.

(*I say occasionally like it's totally happenstance but I'm sure there's some "arrangement" of when they come over. I don't know her situation. Although I did a bit of sleuthing a while back and I think I may know her name and background to some extent (including the eerie coincidence that she may have lived for a while in Woonsocket, RI! I think I posted about this before.)

Thankfully I'm not friendly with them upstairs 'cause if I was and she ever dared ask if I could "watch" them I'd have to clamp my mouth shut to prevent me telling her that I'd likely kill the fuckin' brats, chop them up, bag 'em and toss them in the dumpster. When they would ask where the kids are I'd play dumb and say "What kids?"

Anyway, again, I can hear them almost non-stop whenever they are here. Thankfully, their squacky, squeaking fingernails-on-blackboard voices are stifled from my ears once they are inside up there (yeah, the floors are thin but not THAT thin where I could hear them talking) but their pitter-patter ever-present footsteps are incessant. So they're not only noisy, they're hyper too.

Oh they'd definitely be roach food buried in the bowels of the compacting dumpster and I'd be in prison on death row. Oh well, I could hook up with my little buddy Andrew. Yeah, I'd finally "get some" for a while, anyway, 'till the night I had to walk the "green mile."

On nights like tonight, sometime around now (probably while I write this) I'll undoubtedly hear the unmistakable "squeak, squeak" sound of the bathtub faucet turning. And I know, it's "gina washin' time!" ("gina" pronounced with a long "i")Time to get them lil' girls, probably together, in the hot bubble bath and sponge them up. 'Cludin' their little vaginas. Gots to get 'em squeaky clean, 'cause it's GINA WASHIN' TIME!! (Sung to a beat like this in the video below.)

OMG! I swear, right on cue! I just now heard the squeak! It's 7:52 pm. Do I know my neighbors or what?!

I'm such a freak.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

An Amazing Comeback

I love a great comeback story. To me, it sums up the essence of life. Rarely does anyone have it so well that one sails (intentional pun tying into subject of this post) through all obstacles one meets with total abandon. Life is a challenge and a tough one for most. And you will have set backs and you will have comebacks. That's the way it is.

I suppose yesterday's unbelievable win by Team Oracle USA in the America's Cup challenge is something of the like many sports fans are a bit more accustomed to since they may witness great comebacks on a regular basis no matter what their preferred sport is that they endeavor (another slight pun in line with the Americas Cup) to follow. Well, maybe not of this phenomenal caliber. Not being into sports at all, really, I get floored when I see historical moments happen like this week's ultimate comeback victory.

Here's a rundown of the matches during this competition and as you can see, it looked bleak for Oracle in the early races as Team Kiwi, the New Zealand challenger made impressive ground.

Add to this drama the plot twist that Team Oracle was burdened with a penalty...she would need to win by 2 extra matches in order to retain the Cup. It'd been determined that there had been some impropriety regarding a weigh-in during qualifiers last year, or something like that. Suffice it to say, the challenger had a huge advantage. Being that they were a past Cup winner and an immensely fierce team, I'm sure the handlers caring for the Cup were getting its packing crate ready for the sad voyage back to the other "land down-under."

But amazingly, the America's Cup will in fact stay in America. Actually, while most people assume the Cup is named for our country, in fact it was named for the first winner of the Cup, the schooner "America" which won stewardship of the trophy in 1851, which they donated to the New York Yacht Club and it was successfully defended in contest after contest until 1983 (a race which I witnessed a bit of in person since, back then, the event was held in my home state of Rhode Island).

Congratulations Team Oracle USA! I read something of the nature that they were thinking of holding the next challenge somewhere other than San Francisco. Don't know if that's true but if I can plea a little plea for my homies back in Lil' Rhody, it would probably be enthusiastically welcomed back in Newport.

Or maybe another gorgeous oceanside locale with lots of tourist traffic, and, entirely much easier for me to attend? Like, maybe...Miami? Hmm. Think about it.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

I Miss iGoogle Already

True, iGoogle is still around but not for long. Google has notified users of their customizable start page that they'll be pulling the plug on iGoogle on November 1st. (I wish they'd dump their Spell Check..."customizable" isn't a word? It complains that it's spelled wrong but doesn't offer a correct spelling, so I guess it's not a word. Huh. I kinda think it is. So does, so there.)

In light of the fact that, yet again with Google, change WILL be OPPRESSED upon us lowly users, I've tried to get used to the most-similar replacement I could find, Proto Page. Here's a screen shot:

It's "okay" but it's no iGoogle. Where even iGoogle's look and feel harken back to the cusp of the Web 1.0 to 2.0 evolution (back in the ancient days of, oh say...2006!), Proto Page is definitely of the 1.0 generation. It's super simplified. Quite speedy to pull up but it looks quite dated due to its olde-fashioned layout.  Like an old Geocities web page. A small step up from just simple line after line of HTML text, like this guy's current (yet entirely retro-looking) site. A look still favored by aesthetically-challenged geeks, but so is ASCII for Christ's sake. (Random memory: Remember ASCII art signatures on Usenet? Oh, those were the days! I bet they still use them. Usenet geeks, that is. I wouldn't know, I haven't checked out a newsgroup, like most of normal humanity, since the '90s.)

Also, these widgets are quite limited. Only a few news feeds for example where as iGoogle had like hundreds to choose from. Here in the above screen shot you see the world news widget and it lists crap like "Why I'll never ditch my Blackberry." Really?? Since when does filler shit like this warrant being on a list of just 9 headlines as a "top story?" Cryin' out loud.

Here, as a reference tool is a shot of my endangered iGoogle page. Much more pertinent information at a single glance. Oh how I miss you already:

Monday, September 23, 2013

Il No No

A couple of weeks ago, I was putzing around on the YouTubes when I stumbled across a music video of this trio of teenboy singers who, at the time, I thought sounded fucking amazing. And, they looked hot to boot. Then, I found out that they were touring and they'd be playing Orlando on September 22nd. What serendipity, I thought. Great! And without a moments hesitation I purchased a ticket to see them. It wasn't cheap either...$70 for the cheap seats.

As the weeks rolled closer to last night, I did start to have second thoughts. Not only about the expense but for the impulse purchase itself. I didn't know this singing group from shit. I assumed they'd be like a young teen version of the Three Tenors, singing operatic classics with just a slight flavoring of modern flair.

Well last night came. I went. And boy was I disappointed.

First off, this concert did give me, finally, the opportunity to check out the new Amway Center. My impressions: Meh. It's slick and new-millennium groovy in its design and decor, I'll give it that, but it didn't seem all that vast. I think Providence Civic Center was (and is as Dunkin' Donuts Center now) just as big. The big hassle was the fact that you had to take the elevators as opposed to just climbing stairs to get from floor to floor. I was on the Club floor (4th) and the concessions were on the 3rd. I couldn't just walk down I had to take the elevator. Which was manned, BTW. A modern elevator with an elevator operator? That's right, you told him/her what floor and they PUSHED A FREAKIN' BUTTON! That's it. No wonder the ticket prices were so high, they have throw-away jobs like this on their payroll. Oh and the concession prices...they made theme park prices seem like a discount! $9.75 for a beer!

Next, there was the fact that the house was like not even half full. And the people that were here? Italians. I sat next to these two women, probably mother and daughter and at first look, being so familiar with Spanish I thought they were Spanish. (Spanish in the racist sense meaning all people of Hispanic background) But they were Italian, as evidenced by their language when speaking to one another. We were the only people in our entire section BTW.

Finally, when Il Volo finally came out on stage they belted out flowery, saccharine love song after love song. All in Italian of course, save a couple heavily-accented English ditties. Real shlocky stuff. I'd call it teen girl swoon music but it was operatic and over-the-top dramatic so much of the fan base, as I could tell from the audience, seemed to be couples. Couples in love. I must have looked like a fish outta water. I certainly felt like it.

I made it to the intermission because I was at least gonna hold out for "O Solo Mio" which I had seen their video of so I knew they'd do it, but they hadn't in the first half and I was more than ready to book so I did.

Well that was an expensive mistake. Ah well, at least it got me out of the house. 'Been playin' GTA V on my new PS3 almost non stop. More on that in another post.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I'm Back, Bitches!

Thus was my jubilant scream, literally, as I whirled upside-down on "The Incredible Hulk Coaster" yesterday. That's right, I fit again. In case you don't remember, even though I'd been to IOA and the original Universal park many times after passing 300 pounds in weight, I hadn't been able to ride most coasters due to size constraints. Even the "fat people seats."

Finally after years of embarrassing sadness and coaster deprivation illness (a real sickness I think, or at least it should be) I was able to fit on not only "Hulk" but "Dueling Dragons" too! (Ya, I know it's "Dragon Challenge" now in order to fit the HP theme but it'll always be "DD" to me.) Still a bit snugly, mind you, but hopefully soon I'll have a bit more cubic inches of empty space between me and the restraints to enjoy some of those sweet zero G's like they should.

But you know the best? Remember how I couldn't fit, despite multiple attempts on the "Forbidden Journey Ride"? And when I asked Ric and others how it rated, they were like "great"? Well, I got my ass in this time, and had room to spare. And now I know they were not entirely truthful with me by saying the ride was merely "great" was FREAKING AWESOME!

It's just sad that it took me, a guy who LIVES here in Orlando, and has had several annual passes since the opening, THREE YEARS to enjoy this experience!

Alas, my day would have been perfect and I would have gone on to conquer more rides from which my wide load was prohibited these past few years but I got sick. The heat (which wasn't that bad, really, I guess it's the meds I'm on) and my shoulder were too much by mid-afternoon. Back when I was heavier, it would usually be fatigue from all the walking my 300 pound bulk had to endure. Walking was no problem yesterday at all. I really do think it's the muscle relaxers, pain meds mixed with a little beer which got to me.

I got off "Forbidden Journey" and thought the ride was surprisingly rough (happily), pitching and tossing me about. I was queasy and a little nauseous but fought through it. Figured I'd just hold off on getting my third beer just yet. But then in the midst of one of the barrel rolls of "Dueling Dragons," I knew I had to blow chunks. Luckily, I held it together 'till I found a little side exit off the exiting queue corridor (like some employee only area it seemed) that was devoid of people and had a handy trash bin. It quickly became the recipient of my vomited $15 worth of theme park priced beer.

So I drove home, feeling a bit dizzy, but also I felt elated that I'd achieved what I'd wanted to for so long. And my regret of having to leave so early yesterday will be compensated for by many more planned visits. I decided to go with the Preferred Pass this year, ooh la la! $270 but free parking and no blackout days.

How sweet it is to be back in the saddle again!

Oh, BTW, Here's some video I shot of the Hogwarts Frog Choir. How cute!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Sometimes I Wonder...

So tweeted Haley Star as I saw it on my Twitter feed at 3:12.

Indeed Haley, I also "sometimes wonder."

A whole new world...

My shoulder is still in pain, but now I've rearranged my life to "just deal with it." Needless to say, Naproxen is my crutch, and triple strength sports cream, once thought of as a pleasant menthol fresh smell is now regarded as the stench of infirmity. Probably going to get an MRI and see a orthopedic surgeon. Oh the joys of middle aged-ness.

Perhaps as a respite from my middle-aged woes, I've started to become totally addicted to young gay guy vlogs on YouTube. They don't even have to be hot (though it certainly is appreciated) just young. This 18-26 generation (the Millennial Generation?) is different than the other, oh I guess, the other two or three I've seen come and go in the decades since my own Baby Boomer generation aged itself past that point. They seem...purposeful. And whereas prior generations, including my own, tended to waver off into a myriad of differing directions, this one seems to be connected subconsciously to each other, following one positive and optimistic path. I think they're actually going to achieve something of the likes not seen since the 60's beat generation. (The somewhat later "hippies" just emulated and made more visual the ideals and views of the beat generation just before them.)

I have a weeks vacation coming up soon and boy, I need it. Ryon, the chubby black dude who replaced David rapidly spiraled into his own tailspin and just couldn't hack the fucked up lifestyle of an overnight shift worker. He had already had a notorious rep for being late and one too many hours long tardies earned him a pretty little pink slip. And now to make matters worse, were down one man at nights and we have a previously benign happy-go-lucky (for the most part) resident deciding to go all ape shit this week. Not aggressive like my younger days experiences with this population but just out right loony and needing virtually 1:1 ratio attention which we are definitely not equipped to provide. New stressor. Yeah!

Watching the Yogscast playing multiplayer Civ BNW has made me homesick. (Can you be "homesick" for a digital existence? In this new world you can.) I want to start playing it multiplayer again. And maybe even contacting Ric for a game two...

(BTW, spellcheck complains about "multiplayer." Really Google? And you should know better than most. For that matter, it also doesn't accept "vlog." Really? You know it's 2013, right?)

I just woke up from my Sunday morning nap and I have my candles lit, chillaxin'. Lettin' my mind find solice in simply just "wondering."

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Welcome Back, Old Pal

I'm reunited with my old pal Phen after a hiatus of about three weeks. Gee, seems like a lifetime ago. I'm using the supply of some twenty tabs I'd hoarded from the last refill and I have an appointment with Dr. Gohill tomorrow. The appointment was set in order to further investigate the cause and, quite importantly, the cure for the pain in my shoulder. But I'm going to admit to her that I discontinued the Phen too soon. I need to have it back. Oh man, do I ever need it.

Since the shoulder pain started, I've rarely gotten a good "days" sleep and with all the changes at work, it makes for a precarious situation with me grouchy, tired, and resistant to change. Never a good trio of behaviors in the workplace. Plus, I've delved deeply back into habitual and everyday drinking. Oh, and let's not talk about the hunger pangs. Uncontrollable and undeniable, I feel like I must stuff my face with the most high-calorie foods on Earth almost all the time.

Well, that is, until today when I went back on the Magic Rainbow. And the omission of it in my system for the past few weeks seems to have helped greatly in rekindling the original effects. I've only eaten a small turkey burger patty with about a quarter cup of Brussels sprouts. About 200 calories. And I'm satisfied. No craving for food for the past six hours.

But, unfortunately, I had some leftover beer. And this urge is harder to shake. The phen primarily targets the brain centers associated with food hunger, not the addicted mind bent on getting drunk. Mr. Hyde is too thick headed to be swayed by the mind-tricks of the Phen force.

So I have to guzzle my way through the remainder of this 18-pack of Miller Lite. Then I'll be on better ground and should be off and running.

It's for a new beginning! Glug, glug, glug! Ahhh!

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Google Is Seriously Fucking Up The Internet

Why are they such dicks?

I understand corporations need to make money. It's their primary initiative. But why would Google think it is in the best interest of their bottom line to alienate its fan-base? Apple hasn't done this. It, in fact, treats its fan base reverently like they are the "in-crowd" of Warhol's 1960s Factory. The cool people.

The latest problem I have with Google is the constant annoying attempts they make to align your YouTube account with other Google properties like your general Google account and Google+, the confusingly forgettable social media Facebook-like attempt. The pop ups are obnoxious. I'm constantly mistreated since I choose to keep my YouTube channel as it has always been since 2006. They seem to want to have me change it.

How is this beneficial to their monetary concerns? True, YouTube has a notorious rep regarding the inane comments on virtually any video. And it would be understandable, as they may try to make the site even more profitable and perhaps "respectable" to try and diminish the sense of anonymity that some people enjoy in respect to leaving inappropriate or divisive comments. But as I've explained to Google before, my "cozmorio" username is very closely held by me as my online identity. It, for all intents and purposes, IS my online name.

Yet they continue to try to coerce me into changing my identity or linking it to a Google+ page which would be a waste of my time. It makes my use of YouTube more of a hassle than it should be and is starting to make me think I'd be better off not dealing with the site altogether.

Where's the logic in that?

Here's the most recent input I forwarded to them regarding this.

I doubt they'll get the message. I doubt a human will ever even read this:

Why this mania about changing my account on YouTube? I get harassed constantly by you to change my name or link my account to Google Plus. I wan't it left alone. Why is this not an option? You're alienating me, a perfect example of the demographic that got you to where you are. Like the old adage says "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." I don't want to use my "rel" name for my YouTube account since I use my internet name on it. As far as identity, my internet name, cozmorio, IS my true identity. It predates YouTube and Google. I was using this name on BBS systems in 1992. Don't even imply you have more "Net cred" than me. So, please stop with the constant pop-ups on YouTube. If you're gonna change my account, just fucking do it. I know you will eventually since you can't seem to leave well enough alone. But leave my faux invitation of empowerment out of it. I'm not drinking the Kool Aid willingly. You'll have to pry open my mouth and make me drink it.

Friday, September 06, 2013

Day 149: 44 Pounds


I'd been procrastinating an update in the past few weeks since, as you could easily tell from the past few posts, I'd lost ground in my battle of the bulge. I had, about a week and a half ago, been as high as 266 but I whittled that back down to 261. Yet it still leaves me to report a 5 pound INCREASE in weight from the last update a month ago.

The shoulder, drama at work, fatigue due to loss of sleep and Phen withdrawals, anger over my constant betrayals to the Mr. Hyde creature impulses, yada yada yada... Exactly what I said I'd not do...find excuses. Heck, why don't I blame Publix for putting pasta and frozen pizzas on sale? Or Frito Lay for coming out with Doritos Locos Tacos flavor? Or the guy who invented the fucking fork?!

Some light is still poking it's way through the dense dark fog at the end of the proverbial tunnel though. I haven't given up. I'm still tracking everything on My Fitness Pal. (Despite a glitch in the navigation tools on their website...yeah, great, it picks now to happen, right when I could easily use that as an excuse to discontinue using the site.) My shoulder is slowly, oh so fucking slowly, getting more manageable. (Yup, it's mimicking the symptomatic pattern I'd endured when this same thing happened to it a few years ago. And the other shoulder a few years before that! I'll probably have frozen shoulder for a couple years after the pain and now soreness finally subsides.) And I think the increases in my metabolism brought on by the weight I have lost as well as the Synthroid have helped prevent me from really getting out of control, weight wise.

So I'm waiting for a good time to begin a new initiative. I gotta find a new inspiration. Until then, I'll hold down the fort, make my little baby steps each day and hope for this added 5 pounds to shed off before a new month arrives. Patience, as they say, is a virtue. Man, do i ever need it now.