Wednesday, October 31, 2012

It's Gayle Winds, Bitches!

My favorite drag queen within a drag queen, Gayle Winds returns to let her Rhode Island viewers know that once again, if they haven't already picked up their French Toast ingredients from the mah-ket, THEY'RE SCREWED!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

I Voted!

But when you submit your ballot by mail in early voting, you don't get that little sticker to put on your shirt. I guess the graphic on the left will have to suffice.

Believe me, it's a small sacrifice indeed. Who needs that little sticker when you get so much more this way:


  • No long lines. 
  • No hassle of parking at the polling place. 
  • No assholes shoving handbills and pamphlets in your face, forcing you to toss that shit into the garbage contributing to environmental waste. 
  • No taking the time out of your schedule. 
  • No having to walk into a fucking church staring at that disgustingly morbid execution device with a limp, almost nude figure of a dead and bloody convicted criminal impaled to it. (Christians are sick fucks!)

Of course, as you should know, I voted democrat right down the line. Including my favorite politician ever, Alan Grayson! When he lost his re-election bid in 2010, I was downright pissed, but, not living in his district at the time, there was little I could have done about it. Now, living in Orlando proper, and within the newly-formed borders of the new U.S. House District 9 for Florida, I'm confident my vote will be one of the majority which will put him back in Washington to "tell it like it is" to the Republicans. BTW, if you're not familiar with my soon-to-be representative, here's a little sampling of a couple of videos featuring him from 2010.

Voting early is so much easier, IMHO. Of course, voting online would be even better since I had to pay for postage on the paper ballot, but I guess it isn't as secure against voting fraud yet.

But how do they avoid fraud with mail-in balloting? What would happen if I showed up at my polling place on Election Day and tried to vote in person? How would they know I already voted? Absentee ballots aren't counted until after regular voting, right? Is my name crossed off the list printed in those huge books at the polling place? Hmmm.

Well I probably already voted twice last Presidential election time so why not keep it going?

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Brilliance Of Darkness

So I woke up a few minutes ago and started playing thought games. I do this a lot, actually. It can be quite irritating.

Today's thought was this:

When we look up into the night sky, we see stars and other light reflective objects such as the moon and nearby planets. But shouldn't the sky be simply a bright glow filled to the point of saturation with the ambient light from the trillions of stars not only in our galaxy but all the trillions of other galaxies?

I googled a brief synopsis of this question and found I'm not the first to ponder this.

The gist of my question is referred to as Olbers' Paradox. It's been kicked around for over 400 years in, no doubt, numerous salons and Algonquin-esque round-tables of brainy-types throughout the centuries. But it has only recently had "sufficient" scientific explanation.

Wikipedia gives one "short answer" is that it's attributed to the expansion of space which can cause the energy of emitted light to be reduced via redshift. More specifically, the extreme levels of radiation from the Big Bang have been redshifted to microwave wavelengths (1100 times lower than its original wavelength) as a result of the cosmic expansion, and thus form the cosmic microwave background radiation. This explains the relatively low light densities present in most of our sky despite the assumed bright nature of the Big Bang. The redshift also affects light from distant stars and quasars, but the diminution is only an order of magnitude or so, since the most distant galaxies and quasars have redshifts of only around 5 to 8.6.

Well, that kinda explains what happened to all the light from just after the Big Bang when the entire universe was in a plasma-like state. But I'm concerned with light sources eminently younger. Stars and galaxies of stars observable today (though, especially for the most distant sources, as they looked up to several billion years ago).

Other explanations include scattering of light by dust and other particulate matter, including the atmosphere when observing from the surface of Earth. Also the lack of the massive quantity of stars needed to make up for the decreased intensity of light through the inverse square law.

WRONG! When I ponder the paradox, it's not the light reduced to microwave wavelengths, or matter obstructions I wonder about. I wonder about the vast number of objects in the visible spectrum picked up by uber-powerful telescopes which can't be seen with the naked eye. The light is there. We know that from telescopic observation. We just can't see it.

Another article mentioned, almost as a side note, the biological limitations of our human eyes.

That, I think, is the most important factor!

So in essence, my opinion is that, in fact, the night sky is actually a bright glowing expanse.

It's a-blaze with luminosity. Has been and will be for billions of years.

We just don't see it. Our primitive little gooey ocular organs are too flawed to pick up on this fact.

So all these diversionary explanations are merely acts of denial. We, as a species, "ain't all that and a bag of potato chips" after all. I, for one, can handle the self-deprecation. I'll admit to the severe handicaps in our powers of observation coupled with our head-in-the-sand instincts and our naive hubris.

I'm just gonna go outside tonight, relax in a lounge chair and soak up some unseen rays.

Hope I don't get a star burn.

Nightmares And Dreamscapes

I've mentioned before how I find it rather annoying that I seem to have the same old dreams every time I sleep, but lately I'm finding them somewhat disturbing as well.

Why is my mother always upset in them? And why do I have such anger towards my brother and father?

And why the fuck are any of them in my dreams anyway?

In the conscious world, I don't harbor animosity (any more) towards my father and I can't say I've ever had any truly complete emotional feeling towards my brother. I mean, even as kids, I thought of him as a roommate I never bothered with. As adults, even when I lived up north, I rarely saw him and now I never do.

Last night (well, really Thursday morning and afternoon since I sleep during the day, of course) I had yet another totally weird "location" dream (see here for a rundown of my dream theme categories). I was in what I guess was an apartment that was mine, but, of course, it never existed in real life. In fact with bizarre features like shower fixtures over the bed and in the living room, it would likely never exist for anyone.

I was busily trying to get rust off of the chrome shower knobs with Comet cleanser, complaining that my brother doesn't maintain them so they get rusted. My mother is watching me and she has a scowl on her face. The showers are running getting the bed, living room furniture and me soaking wet.

And that's about it.

Where does all this come from?

Well, the "cleaning the shower" concept likely springs from the real life similar situation recently when I was cleaning my shower and tub because the maintenance guy had to come over to fix the faucet. It wouldn't close shut and water was dribbling out non-stop. That's also why, I think, the showers were running in my dream and it could have something to do with why they were getting furnishings wet since I was somewhat worried leaving for work the other night with the water slightly running that somehow the drain would get clogged and I'd come home to find the apartment flooded. Add to that the two other plumbing issues in my real life bathroom (the toilet leakage and the clogged air conditioner drainage tube) and these flooding concerns weigh in on my subconscious, no doubt.

But why are members of my family always in my dreams? And they're always as they existed more than 20 years ago.

Like unwanted poltergeists they haunt me. I wish they'd stay out of my head. I've got enough creepin' around in there.

Monday, October 08, 2012

Epic Fail: HHN 22

I so wanted to have a great time. I brought my camera anticipating a wonderful video showcasing one of Orlando's most celebrated annual events, but I never used it once.

This year's Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Florida was just not worth it.

Here's a little rundown of my less-than-spectacular experience of last night.

First thing that got me was the cost of admission. About $43 with tax. And that's after the "Florida residents" discount using a promo code from a Burger King purchase. Notice I put Florida residents in quotes...that's because the only verification they did of my residency status was to ask me what my zip code was. Um, couldn't out-of-state tourists just give a local zip code and get the "exclusive" discount for themselves?

I remember when a HHN ticket was less than $20. Those were, I guess, the good old days. Which brings me to my next point about last night's events, the security.

I fully realize there has to be a good amount of security but there's also a point when overcompensation can bog down an event such as having people wait in an unorganized throng outside the metal detector perimeter set up even before anyone gets to the ticket windows or gates themselves. Huh?

I had to stand in this mess inching forward ever so slowly for almost 45 minutes. It reminded me of the opening day for the Harry Potter installation at IOA. Click here to check out that fiasco.

And they even made us take our belts off. Really?

Once I was finally in the gates, I needed a beer. Luckily there was a nearby cart with virtually no wait. The beer price was expectedly high ($6.50 for a 16 oz. can of Heineken) but for some reason they aren't supplying some carts with cash registers that produce paper receipts for credit card purchases so they have patrons enter in any tip and then sign for the purchase via the seller's cell phone. I was wearing my contacts so I couldn't read the tiny iPhone screen so she clicked it forward for me. I did my usual nonsense scribble to sign for it. I wonder how much of a tip she allocated for herself? I guess I'll know when I check my transactions for that card online.

On the HHN website, there's a kind of a scavenger hunt game featured where participants can get a special game tag on a lanyard which has the ability to record your progress through the haunted houses when you touch it to a specially-marked receiver upon exiting. Like a security badge.

Well finding out where to get the badge was a chore with misdirecting information booth staff and clueless guest services staff. Once I got to where I needed to be, it wasn't much better seeing it would have meant waiting in line with others not only wanting the pass, but also stroller and wheelchair rentals. There were 12 people in front of me in line and few staff helping. So I abandoned that idea and just walked away.

I made my way to the right and came upon a choice to either enter Universal's House of Horrors or Alice Cooper: Welcome to my Nightmare. For some reason, I thought they had done each of these houses, or at least the same concepts, in past years. Either one was stated to be a 45 minute wait. I chose the House of Horrors since I figured I could continue moving in a counter-clockwise fashion and complete each of the 7 haunted houses before the end of the night. Yeah, right. 45 minutes was more like an hour and a half and once inside, the house was amateurish and crude. High school fundraiser haunted houses do better in the suburbs.

The only good thing about the haunted house experience though...the in-queue beer kiosks. they make the time pass a little nicer.

I wanted to continue on to the Penn and Teller house but I also wanted to make sure I got good seating at one of the Bill and Ted Shows. Since it was 8:45 and the next Bill and Ted's was at 9:15, I decided to make a bee-line to Bill and Ted's.

I did get really good seats for the show but finally sitting down and surveying the crowd I realized that the audience, in fact perhaps the whole park was very young. Many were teenagers and the majority seemed to be no older than 30. No problem, I thought, I like young people. But when it came to the Bill and Ted Show, I soon realized that these people have no real affection for these characters. I mean, they're their parent's generation! Sure enough, whenever Bill and Ted did their signature "Wild Stallion" moves or Valley Boy expressions, it was obviously lost on the crowd. They pretty much sat there, unimpressed.

The Bill and Ted's this year was everything I hoped it would be. It was the one shining light of the whole night. They spoofed everything from The Hunger Games to Honey Boo Boo to Snookie's baby to the presidential election to Gangnam Style. They even had a Mayan priest ushering in the end of the world.

The 20 Penny Circus was another story.

Last time I was at HHN, the Beetleguise Revue Theater had been used to present a live action send up of Rocky Horror Picture Show...it was fabulous!

Now they got some two-bit magic act which uses shills disguised as ordinary "audience members". Terrible shenanigans  And the magic acts were incredibly lame. Not amused, just feeling abused.

After this show I headed over to Finnegan's and figured I'd be able to make up for the transgressions of the night with a libation or two. Well they removed all the bar seats, so it was table seating only and though I waited patiently for about 15 minutes, and it wasn't that busy, just understaffed, I still hadn't been able to order a drink.

It was time to leave.

Friday, October 05, 2012

Oh Yes, Zombie Baby, The War Rages On

It's been a while since I've posted about the drama of my workplace and the (pun intended) insanity of what goes on there, but here I'll try to catch you up...

The turnover this year has been outrageous!

Since I last posted about it, the following employees have left...one way or another, if you know what I mean.

Ryan, the Care Coordinator that replaced Scott. He was as gay and rebellious as his predecessor but not as committed to fighting the good fight, he left within a few months of his hire.

David, the weird evening shift staff who had the strange obsession with his wife's gluten-free muffins. He actually thought people were out to steal his wife's recipe since he thought it was worth millions. Again, as I've said before, who are the crazy people here?

LaQueen, an experienced and capable caregiver who decided the air was too toxic for her. One of the few that I've heard of that have had the deluxe opportunity to "tell off" Susan.

Theresa, the incredibly old and fragile Care Coordinator finally "retired", but the rub is that she actually became a 1:1 caregiver for one of the most wealthy residents, employed directly by the resident's father for a sum which no doubt comfortably exceeded what she was making through the Center.

Chris W. finally decided his one shift every couple of months wasn't worth it and so he gave up the ghost. No more lusting over him and his slightly furry but very tight, firm body and effervescent smile. Weep...Weep.

So we've got a slew of newbies to replace them all, but they're not the focus of this post.

We need to discuss, first and foremost:

June.

While we had been getting along very well, so I thought, over the course of this year, recently, she had started to go into her "crazy June" mentality.

She started divulging over the course of the summer he frustrations with Eric, the other overnight staff, and how he seemed to take liberties which she felt were beyond acceptable like going missing for hours or being caught sleeping in the Activity Center or on the examination table of the doctor's visit room.

I too, agreed with her that this was getting out of hand.

But she never mentioned escalating the issue. She obviously feared an outcome of that.

While I held back from reporting to Susan the actions of Eric, I restrained from doing so in order to continue the status quo and to keep a Sword of Damocles over the head of Eric in order to more effectively control him.

This cease fire continued with June and I playing the role of concerned parents over the actions of our troublesome baby until recently when I may have exposed old wounds...

A task which required regular updating hadn't been kept up for about a month and a half by June. She'd stated, at the start of the task, that she'd be the responsible party, but later, when it fell in arrears,  denied having taken on the task. I was pissed, so I sent an email to Susan saying I would take responsibility for the task and apologized it hadn't been maintained well 'till then,

June has been in a pissy mood since this. She's now, no doubt, re-evaluating all of our interactions over the past year.

And though I'm not happy about the discontinuation of a smooth and peaceful work environment...

I totally agree.

She should be suspect.

I don't trust her.

Never have.

And though I hate a "battle zone" work atmosphere, I feel it's probably inevitable.

Hopefully, she'll soon be exposed for the lazy, vindictive, two-faced cunt she really is and be fired as soon as possible.

But I really hope she blows her top and quits first, since she'll then have no unemployment claim and will have to continue to suck the clit of her retirement-aged girlfriend in order to continue to, by her very presence, ooze her skanky pussy smell into the air of our fair state of Florida.