Why is my mother always upset in them? And why do I have such anger towards my brother and father?
And why the fuck are any of them in my dreams anyway?
In the conscious world, I don't harbor animosity (any more) towards my father and I can't say I've ever had any truly complete emotional feeling towards my brother. I mean, even as kids, I thought of him as a roommate I never bothered with. As adults, even when I lived up north, I rarely saw him and now I never do.
Last night (well, really Thursday morning and afternoon since I sleep during the day, of course) I had yet another totally weird "location" dream (see here for a rundown of my dream theme categories). I was in what I guess was an apartment that was mine, but, of course, it never existed in real life. In fact with bizarre features like shower fixtures over the bed and in the living room, it would likely never exist for anyone.
I was busily trying to get rust off of the chrome shower knobs with Comet cleanser, complaining that my brother doesn't maintain them so they get rusted. My mother is watching me and she has a scowl on her face. The showers are running getting the bed, living room furniture and me soaking wet.
And that's about it.
Where does all this come from?
Well, the "cleaning the shower" concept likely springs from the real life similar situation recently when I was cleaning my shower and tub because the maintenance guy had to come over to fix the faucet. It wouldn't close shut and water was dribbling out non-stop. That's also why, I think, the showers were running in my dream and it could have something to do with why they were getting furnishings wet since I was somewhat worried leaving for work the other night with the water slightly running that somehow the drain would get clogged and I'd come home to find the apartment flooded. Add to that the two other plumbing issues in my real life bathroom (the toilet leakage and the clogged air conditioner drainage tube) and these flooding concerns weigh in on my subconscious, no doubt.
But why are members of my family always in my dreams? And they're always as they existed more than 20 years ago.
Like unwanted poltergeists they haunt me. I wish they'd stay out of my head. I've got enough creepin' around in there.