As I may have mentioned before, I, along with my buddy Al Gore, invented the internet. Well, not really, but, being that I've been "online" longer than, for one, that term became commonplace and two (and likely more shocking), much longer than you've been alive, assuming you're younger than 32. (Oh, Ghost of Mrs. Morin...How do you like that run-on sentence? It's a doozy but, you know what, I think it IS grammatically okay, albeit perhaps not aesthetically so.)
Anyway, in being such a "Netasaur" (Internet Dinosaur), I've had some pretty long-lived email accounts in my lifetime. I think one of my first (that I remember) was utilizing the username or "handle" as they were frequently called then of "drella19." I used this on early BBS systems' message boards and with my Pegasus and later Eudora email clients. I may also have used it with my on-again off-again (as I could afford it or not) subscriptions to the big three online providers of the day Prodigy, CompuServe and AOL (I also remember using "nastar" and "cozgiz" as well in those days). By 1998 though, I think I'd settled on "cozmorio." It was unique enough to not need a numerical suffix to set it apart, an absolute rarity for a pronounceable four syllable word these days for sure. I talk a little here about my early internet cognomens back when I foolishly eschewed cozmorio temporarily in 2019 for a resurrected drella19.
Which actually brings me to the crux of this post actually. Back when I changed to the drella19 email, I did so in an attempt to bury my head in the sand regarding the anticipated barrage of collection emails I'd be hit with as a result of Op V. But diverting all good emails to the new Yahoo email account only frustrated me months later when I realized why I'd hated Yahoo Mail many years ago...it comes with its own baggage. Constant ads and tons of its own spam, it wasn't long before I was pinning for my good ol' Gmail back. So that's what I did. I eventually went back to my cozmorio Gmail account, diverted all "bad" emails to either spam or a special folder I labeled "Sunset Valley" and swung all the good emails back home to Gmail. Unfortunately, I closed the Yahoo account and neglected to archive my stored emails so all the good, saved emails I had for those months were lost. Every now and then I'll get a reminder of that mistake and the lost data and I kick myself. For instance, when I went on my first MSC cruise in 2019, I set up my online account with the "drella19@yahoo.com" email address. When I booked my recent cruise with that line again last year, I had trouble getting past their "two-step verification" because they wanted to either verify me with my old T-Mobile phone number that I no longer have or the "drella19" email. Ugh! I had to call customer service and basically go through a huge identity test to get that changed, but still, the username on the account couldn't be changed so it stays "drella19@yahoo.com."
Anyway, did I say I was getting to the crux of this post? The crux is that I'm again diverting "bad" emails to "Sunset Valley" or spam as a result of Spartan V so it's got me interested in looking at my spam folder, a task I've neglected in far too long.
Here's a little run-down of the stuff I just this morning "dug up" from the murky waters:
An "offer" of only 40% of my original debt on one of those plastic rectangles from Op V. My satisfaction of their status sitting pretty in my spam folder forever (until auto-deletion every 30 days I believe) is fine with me and as to their "offer," I say to the ether (not them directly, of course...my eternal silence will convey it well enough) "How 'bout 0% and you can go kick rocks."
A listing of a house for sale from a realtor I dealt with briefly in 2017 when I was considering buying a house in Orlando. I told him no then, rather rudely if I remember correctly since I thought he was worthless, but he kept me on his email list. I'm pretty sure I tried to "unsubscribe" years before but it mysteriously didn't seem to work...ever get one of those pricks? Shoved him to auto spam ever since. I just tried to unsub again...we'll see if it works now eight years later.
Oh No! Payment Declined! I'm going to lose my cloud storage and my videos and photos will be gone forever! Does that mean all my duck-faced selfies with my besties? What about every pro shot of every plate of delish dish at all the trendy digs my boo and I go to? What will my social media followers have to latch onto? ---- Oh no! Brother, did they pick the wrong email account.
A WYZE Survey on a tech support call I made. Now this shouldn't have gone right to spam but I do find that happens to legit emails sometimes. I was waiting for this email survey too since the rep was somewhat nice but when I started to ramble, as I am want to do (you think my writing is any indication, you should hear me prattle verbally...ugh, I wear out the most patient people I'm sure), the rep hung up on me! Oh I will place this email back in the inbox and complete this survey for sure. WYZE is cheap, but I guess you get what you pay for.
A notification that $64.342s has been placed in my account. Hmm? Is that sixty-four dollars, thirty-four cents and two mills? 'Cause that's the way (I guess) it looks in American style numerical values. Or is this a foreign-sourced email and they forgot we use commas to separate thousands and decimals to separate whole numbers from fractions? And what's with the "s?"
* I watched a YouTube video of Trump speaking and thought...you know, I need to take a shit now.
* I watched gay porn featuring young dudes with "Big Balls" and gratified myself while singing "God Bless America!"
* I went grocery shopping with my government supplied Food Stamps before you get your greasy paws on my EBT Card you greed motha fucka!
* I went to my healthcare provider paying zero copay on my zero premium to me Obamacare paid for through people who, unlike me, pay taxes. That's right, I'm so poor, I legally don't pay taxes, bitch!
*I chose, yet again, to NOT impregnate any women thus not bringing more humans to exist on this soon-to-be-total-shitshow planet. How 'bout you?
Oh, I read it again. he just wants me to not pay my electric bill. Sure thing Elon, I'll sit in the dark and sweat my ass off just for you, prick.