289. It's the same weight I was at just before I went on my cruise almost 3 weeks ago. Then I gained my cruise weight and went up to 292 and last week I gained a pound after the election. But now I'm back to 289 again. How'd I do it? Eating right and exercise? Yeah right. Drugs baby, drugs!
But frankly, with all the drugs I take, I thought I'd see better results than this...
As you can see by the graph above, the trend is decidedly in the slightly wrong direction over the course of the past year.
I'm a little lazy today so forgive me for the lack of hard stats but I've been on Ozempic now for well over a year and though I'd seen good results in the beginning as I've reported to Gonzalez, I'm not sure that it's actually working the way it works for all the celebrities in the world because I just don't see it working as a weight loss drug for me. Now it has other benefits: blood sugar control, which is the main reason I'm on it of course, but also alcohol dependency assistance. It's been a marvel with that. So I'm not about to give it up, and I do have a feeling that there is a magic button in my brain that I just have to find press it to enact the power of Ozempic since I know that it should be working but it must be my decades-long habits of bad eating and inactivity that defeat its weight loss qualities.
I've been on Alli for about a month now and I have roughly a month left to go before I'm out of my $80 supply. This again was one that I saw very good results initially but then there's been a tapering off. In case you don't know, it helps by allowing the body to eliminate 20 to 30% of fat before it's processed but of course 20 to 30% of a smaller amount of food is great, you're going to likely lose weight because it's eliminating a significant portion of that pie chart of calories that you eat per day. But do I eat small portions? No I'm relying on science.
Then there's metformin. Aside from its main purpose as a diabetes medication, it has off-brand qualities as weight loss medication. I'm not exactly sure how. Probably similar to Alli in that it makes you, well, you know, eliminate certain stuff rapidly. And sometimes I do mean rapidly.
Topiramate is supposed to help with my binge drinking and eating habitual behavior. This is another one of those drugs that I have no idea if it's working. I feel no effects of it. Nor do I believe you're supposed to. Like Wellbutrin that I tried some 10 or so years ago, I forget how long ago now, it's one of those drugs that work on your brain and supposedly make you think differently so of course if you're the only person analyzing how it's affecting you that makes it pretty hard to determine whether or not it's affecting you since it has already affected you. You get what I mean? The eyes of the observer being the observed kind of thing? Almost getting into Schrodinger's Cat shit?
But then there's Farxiga. Oh I feel that. Both in its immediate effects to heart rate, and just a general feeling, but of course also its major effect in that it makes you a human fountain ever searching for that lost bowl of porcelain every 30 minutes or so. And fun side note, that liquid product smells a bit like honey since it's so sweet. No I'm not going to try it.
Synthroid is supposed to help too in that it supposedly helps to correct my hypothyroidism which aids in increasing my metabolism. Okay. So say you. I have no idea. I've been on it for years. Feel no effects.
Glimepiride, atorvastatin, vitamin B complex, vitamin D... I think these all have, if I'm not mistaken, some off-brand weight loss qualities to them as well if only in that they assist the bodies digestion and metabolism overall. I think the only drugs I take that really don't have any effect on weight except for potentially in the opposite direction would be the blood pressure medication. I think I've read that they can cause weight gain.
Of course none of these are like the good old Phentermine. Yes the Rainbow Magic pills. Those Were the Days. Gonzalez won't give them to me. She said that they cause anxiety. Wouldn't I as the patient be the best judge of that? They never caused anxiety for me. In fact just the opposite. Yes they elevated blood pressure. Yes they made me more amped. Yes I could get a bit nervous sometimes on. But I wouldn't say it increased my anxiety.
I just signed my Marketplace online paperwork and bought into another year with Ambetter. So I'm still relegated to the cheapy, cut rate doctor's offices around town including the place I go to now or alternatives like that place Shield that I visited a month ago or so and got skeeved out on. But the desire is still there to look into possibly replacing my primary care practitioner and getting a new one. And perhaps one that has no problem with that pretty blue and white capsule. Because it's science baby, science.