Now since I actually don't have a lawn to speak of (that weedy patch out front my house isn't really mine to demand evacuation from) I'm really talking about the general aspects of the world I live in.
I blame all the changes that I'm going to rant about on the newer generations. I mean I can't be sure who's causing it but it's got to be them.
Here's just a few of the things that irk the hell out of me.
The destruction of the English language. This started a few years ago and I blamed it mainly on media companies handing over their internet departments to young kids who either don't give a damn or really are this stupid. Now it's everywhere and it's absolutely mind-bogglingly bonkers. I can understand a homophone or simile popping out here and there since unless they're actually proofreading what they wrote or even using a simple app like Grammarly, ordinary spell check may overlook it. But in some cases typos are so bad as to make an article or whatever is written virtually unintelligible. And I'm not even getting into idiosyncrasies in the deviation of normal, everyday English. The inappropriate use of the word "irony," the inappropriate use of the word "whenever," abbreviations and slang only known to those 30 and under, and, ironically (correct use here), young people from England pronouncing words that end with "ing" as if the word is ending with just "in."
The uber-hegemony of the smartphone. The dictatorship of the smartphone continues to goosestep ever forward. Never mind Trump getting reelected. The true fascism is right in the hands of everybody under the age of 30. Businesses are starting to require customers use their apps for almost everything. Regular old web pages are slowly being replaced, or, totally revamped to accommodate a mobile phone world. Prime examples are theater tickets, plane tickets, rideshare transportation, take out orders, doctor appointment confirmations, multi-factor security logins, bank transactions, etc, etc, etc. And woe to oldsters like me who can't even wrap their head around typing with thumbs. In the eyes of the young looking at people like me pecking at their smartphone with their index finger, we must look as pitiful as that lady I tried teaching to use a mouse back in the 90s.
The whimsically changing essential tools of the internet. Google has long been known to be the main culprit. Every single year that goes by they must have a new crop of kiddies at the helm of their design departments. And every one of their products are at their mercy. This forum, Blogger, has undergone many irritating UI changes over the years. It's actually been a bit stagnant lately so I'm fully expecting a big old revision sometimes soon that will probably make this blog broken beyond repair. Gmail is another one. How irritating is it to get everything set the way you like it with your email program and then it's all changed up by the powers that be? And then there's YouTube. They mess with this one a lot. Some of the changes, I'll admit, are for the better, but one of the most recent changes just boggles my mind as to why they think it's a good idea. Curved edges? Why do they have curved edges for their video layout? How is it better than 90° angles? I guess I need only look at my cell phone and see, it, like most other smartphones indeed does have curved edges and I guess that answers my question. And lastly the Chrome browser. When they make changes with this, for me, they really are shitting on my lawn. The latest? Renaming the "Other bookmarks" to "All Bookmarks." Small thing you say? Not to me. And if you right click on it and try to select the rename option...NOPE. But Google isn't the only fucknut on the internet playground. As I mentioned in a post a while back, there's that crazy fuck Elon Musk and his renaming Twitter to X.
My generation needs to rise up, raise their canes and walkers and protest loudly at all this change instigated by young people merely because they need to thrust forth their own hubris and show the world that the Boomers are dying.
What metaphor should I use to wrap up this post? Should I reach back to the classics and quote old timey poems groaning that we shall "not go gently into the night?" Should I hum nostalgically to the strains of Prince's "I've seen the future and it will be...?" only for it to be drowned out by the booming base of a youngster's car passing by blaring "Young Nudy - Peaches & Eggplants" all up in here, my nigga!
Ah fuck. It doesn't matter 'cause the young ones done paved over my lawn and put up a gender fluid porta-potty and a rack of climate change conscious smart bikes.