Kathleen started off asking us each in turn to state why we were working there. Mike cut a dad joke or two but then said his part which basically centered around working as a team to help our consumers. I mentioned I had done my homework before even applying and found this agency to be the best in the area at serving the consumers and I wanted to be a part of it. Maddie gave a rundown of how she got involved, also centered around providing services for consumers. We knew what she was looking for when she asked this question. Kathleen reinforced the concept that we're all here for the consumers and they're the number one priority.
Yada yada yada. What else did we expect on an opening for something like this? She sees this issue as a petty disagreement between diverse personalities, and her role is that as a mom coming together for a family meeting where she was asking us to focus on the true priorities here.
Nothing new here, this tactic is used often, especially when there may be some feelings of anxiety regarding ineffective or lacking organization from the leaders as well as subordinates. It's a convenient way to deflect criticism is conducting its business perhaps not entirely under the auspices of the goals stated here, that is, totally focused on the consumer.
Then we got into stating the issues that are causing friction in the team starting with Mike. As usual he plays dumb saying he has no problem, but he can see that there is a problem between Maddie and I and he hopes it all can be ironed out. I come right out and say that yes, I can be overbearing and obnoxious and have been called a "queen bee" in the past, but I know this about myself, and I'm working to overcome this. I apologize to Maddie that if she felt wronged by me, it was due to these tendencies, and not anything she specifically was or wasn't doing. And I left it at that. I didn't get into details, I didn't name names, I used a little bit of self-deprecation to give Maddie the signal to let it stop there.
But when she took the stand, so to speak, she detailed the last two phone conversations we had, to a tee. Including the last one where I questioned whether or not she was doing her job. I was thinking to myself as she was saying this, "Why are you going there? You know this is now going to only have to prompt me to mention what I was thinking?" And then she broke down and started crying and had to leave the room because she was so upset about this phone conversation.
There's no fucking way one phone conversation that ends in a little bit of a heated discussion gets a person to this emotional point. There's something deeper there. If you could have seen my face while she was in the bathroom crying and we were all sitting there looking at the walls, you would have seen that my decision had been made. I had to bring out excerpts from the red flag diary.
And oh I growled! The exact mention, without the actual word of accusation of obfuscation, followed by a big old "I'm so upset I can't continue on." drama queen act, like it was a deposition and she was recalling the night she was raped. She had the ability to just let this fucking issue die with my mea culpa in her hands, but no, she had to go there.
When she came back, I mentioned how from the beginning, I felt things didn't add up. That Mike and Maddie were playing a shell game, and lying to me from the beginning. I went on to disclose that Maddie had shared with me such negative gossip about the folks in the admin building, the fact that Mike had faked notes, and that when she went to Kathleen to complain about this, Kathleen did nothing. I said that this will be my last day.
So that's it right? So I must have got up and stormed out of the room and bellowed "See ya!" Not exactly. Amazingly, Kathleen had virtually no reaction to these "revelations" and both Mike and Maddie, instead of looking blissfully content that I had just hung myself and, like Elvis, would be out of the building very soon, looked relieved. And then they're both talking about how we can get working on the matters coming up with the job camp, how we'll iron out things as we go along, and we make a promise to HR that will increase our level of communication with each other so it doesn't get to this place in the future.
To say I was confused is an understatement. Yet again like so many things with this job, I read things the wrong way. Thinking about it still, I don't think anything I said was a surprise to any of them that I would be bringing this up. I mean in a way it's pretty obvious at least a month ago that I didn't feel good about this, namely The Great Cover-Up of this position and they suggested, of course in a never-said way, to just grin and bear it and play along. Kathleen's total incomprehension of some of the issues I was exposing, or so I thought, and even Jeanne sitting there, quite clueless, gave added emphasis to the real fact that we can basically get away with virtually anything we want.
The meeting ended with both Mike and Maddie seemingly not super upset about what I had just said, although that could be just for show, I'm not really sure. I mean I just called out Maddie for being fraudulent, incompetent, complicit, engaged in a conspiracy, and burned-out. As for Mike, all the above as well, along with an accusation of client abuse if you take to heart the issue regarding the fake notes.
As we left the building, I went back to the office where my computer carrying case was, took the computer and MiFi and the corresponding chargers for each, and stuffed it all into the bottom right drawer of the desk before either Mike or Maddie could make their way in. I then took my empty computer case, walked out the building, bid a good day to Mike as I passed him, got in my car and drove away.
So where do I go from here? Well, since I stopped at Publix Liquors, picked up a 12-pack of Modelo and a couple of Daily's Frozen cocktails, I guess I'll know what I'm going to be doing a little later on today, Maybe as soon as lunch time coming up in less than an hour, but what about the job?
Though here in Florida, the weather is decidedly going from springtime to summertime very quickly, with today being a prime example of "not a cloud in the sky" and a bright hot sun with temps well into the 80s, bears in the southern hemisphere (I assume they have bears), experiencing a creeping coolness in the air as winter is dawning there, poked or not, are likely entering hibernation stage.
Maybe that's the course of action? Though I've been poked, and growled back, I guess I didn't swipe my paw and disembowel them with my claws. I guess that's good. Buys me time to go ahead, take that snooze, and nuzzle down into hibernation.
If the CEO of a company has no problem hearing about fraud occurring right before their face, who am I to make waves? I should just go with it. So I think we'll see how it goes, just equally gaslighting as I go along down the George Costanza Trail knowing that I probably could go ahead and poke fellow bears like me all along the weird and winding path through the murky forest and they just will keep on snoring.
So into New Zealand winter we go. Wake me up in the spring, whenever that comes. Or shoot me as I slumber. Either way, I'm ready.