Shake, shake, shake, Senora, shake your body line
Shake, shake, shake, Senora, shake it all the time
Work, work, work, Senora, work your body line
Work, work, work, Senora, work it all the time
Jump In The Line - Harry Belafonte
So the new HR Director at work emails me telling me that I need to complete my health insurance enrollment form. It was due before April 1st. She rightfully does blame the snafu to the fact that the HR department had been without a director for a while, so she apologized, kind of, for the need for me to act relatively quickly now.
On my calendar, I didn't have the change to the new health insurance due until the end of this month, but I look back at the paperwork that I got when I started, and sure enough, it wasn't the date that I originally thought, it really is April 1st that was the supposed enrollment date.
So I complied with her request and quickly filled out the form indicated the plan that I choose, indicated no beneficiary on the "free" life insurance they include, and emailed it back to her. She applauded me for being so quick but did say I needed a beneficiary for the life insurance policy. I emailed her back "I have no beneficiary at this time." We'll see what she says to that.
This chick is a real old fashioned Church Lady looking type. Reading my reply, she's probably absolutely confused thinking that I'm reluctant to fill out the life insurance part of it, figuring I would owe premiums on that. No, I understand that they get these cheap little $25,000 life insurance policies and throw them at new hires as a way to say "oh look what we do for you at no cost to you we provide you with this insurance" when in actuality it's just a freebie that's offered through the insurance company in order to try to get you in their files so they can try to hit you up for other insurances that may be "appealing" to you ie. you're just a lead to them. I understand it. No biggie there, but no I didn't declare "no beneficiaries" because of a lack of desire for the plan; I don't care, go ahead, give me life insurance. Not that I'll ever see any benefit to it, right? What do I care if they pay $25,000 to somebody if I'm dead? But it'll be a cold day in hell before I put any of my living relatives or anybody else for that matter on the beneficiary line. If it happens to go to my dad because I'm dead and he's my next of kin, so be it. He'll probably use all of it to buy up as much booze and cigarettes as he can. What do I care? He just isn't going to see his name in my handwriting on any beneficiary line.
I don't really want to get into it with this new HR chick, who would absolutely not understand my hermit lifestyle. And I don't really want to have to lie, like telling her that all my family members are dead or putting Spencer Beckwith down as my beneficiary, since as we know, he's totally fictional. We'll see what her reply to that is. If I have to put Spencer down, I will, it won't be proven I lied until I'm dead so what the fuck do I care.
Meanwhile back to the Crux of this post and the meaning of jumping in the line. So since I filled out this form and I'm soon going to be migrating from my marketplace "luscious" healthcare plan (or so I thought it was "luscious") that covers so much, into a new plan, which, I'll have to pay $135 for each paycheck, compared to $7.15 each month now, I thought I'd check my insurance website and see what the little hospital visit from 3 weeks ago might cost me.
Now, the last time I went into the hospital, back in 2018 in Longwood, read about it here, I didn't end up paying much. Maybe a total of a hundred or a buck fifty? Not sure, but it wasn't a shocking amount at all. But as you can see from the screenshot above, it looks like I'm not going to get off so easily this time. Looks like the total is going to be well over $1,000!
Thing is though, the new insurance should be kicking in by May 1st, I'll confirm that Monday, and then I'll cancel my current insurance, mainly since I have to because the rules regarding Obamacare, then the "jump in the line part" is: I don't care if it's even that $5.07 charge since, in my books it's all going to be lumped together under that whole hospital visit, and I'm down with adding them lock, stock and barrel to the line of bozos wanting money from me.
Jump in that line and wait for bankruptcy day or do like Citibank and Bank of America and sue me, and I'll just wait you out. Cuz like the ghost high school football players in the picture above, you'll be waiting for an eternity.