We’ll Meet Again
Song by Vera Lynn
I recently let it leak out at work that I've had 77 jobs in my lifetime. This caused a chuckle or two among coworkers and even my boss (who chucklehead Mike let know) especially when you consider our job specs are to get meaningful employment for our folks, not to have them follow in my footsteps and job hop like a jittery rabbit for the rest of their life.
If we look at the context of it all and get down to brass tacks, well, yes, a lot of times I am a job skipper. And what oftentimes causes me to skip a job? Could it be that, no matter where I go, or who I work with, I end up somehow, someway, orchestrating a fucking nuclear war!!
Let the Ridge Wars begin!
So putting Mike's bullshit aside let's talk about Maddie. Now I've expressed in several posts here how frustrating this bitch is. Not only does she look like a dump truck rolled over her often wearing her hair in what I can only assume she is actually going for a cartoon Cathy look (ACK!!!) but her negative attitude about almost everything is worse than Debbie Downer it's downright Wednesday Adams, including her outfits which I swear she must be a closet goth or something because I have never once seen her not wear black.
All that aside though, there's the blaring issue of her work never adding up to what she says she does. As I've mentioned time and time again on this blog, she's constantly "overworked" according to her, yet if you look at it without her verbal obfuscation, you clearly see she's doing at best 20 hours of work, and believe you me, that is at best. And taking into account her poor time management skills! Single mom, ADHD kids, one on the autism spectrum, herself taking full-time master's degree program college courses... How does she fit a 40 hour a week job in there?
So sometime last week or so she goes and cries to our boss Kathleen and somehow convinces her to give her a title of Team Lead (whatever that means) along with a raise. I don't care about the raise part, but I'm not reporting to this bitch. I don't respect her one bit. She's the most lying, snot nose, sniveling bitch I've ever met in my life. And now she's starting to ask me what I'm doing with my caseload... Like, Gurl, you in a glass house...you should not throw stones.
So I tell her it's all in my notes, which she easily has access to, with just a few clicks of her mouse, but because she's playing this "martyr roll" complaining that she doesn't have a laptop that she's been waiting to get fixed for months now (which is true) but she admits that she has three of her own laptops, no doubt one for her and one for each of her kids, yet refuses to use one of those. Again girl, talk to the hand. I use all my computers. They're all my tools for my own measure of success.
I could tell she took attitude to me telling her to go check out my notes rather than have me tie up 45 minutes of a phone conversation for me to simply go over everything I've already written down, but ever since then she's been treating me with even more of a cold shoulder then should warrant from such a brief difference of opinion. Methinks Mike's getting into the mix by telling her shit about what I say to him about her. For instance, that I felt she was negative all the time and that she was lying to me.
So just like a lot of these other workplace nuclear wars in the past, it's all because everybody wants to act like we're in fuckin' junior high school again and we have all these little politics and ways of communicating that clash and oh my God if there's a woman's frail feelings involved! Whoa to the man who caused that! How dare he?!
The other new chick that was just hired just a month ago quit after only a couple weeks here. Who was her main point of contact? None other than Maddie. So did Maddie give her the same treatment she gave me when I started? Which was basically: Good luck, we're all on our own here, I'll show you a few little parts of what we do but you're going to be left on your own otherwise and it's all going to be for nothing, no matter even if you think you've got great ideas, because no one respects them around here, no one helps you here, you got to do it all on your own! Well with that kind of a fucking attitude do you think she might have scared Crystal away? Yes she did! I'm positive of it. The new girl didn't even call in for her embarq, she had her mom, or whatever, do it, saying "She's got things going on right now and can't take the position anymore."
This morning we had scheduled an important meeting where we're going to be planning a whole job camp for the month of June which will very visibly tie us up for much of the day, Monday through Friday, each week of that month. Well don't you think that went right up Maddie's ass! How the fuck is she going to be able to pull her three card monty game then?
Mike and I are "wink wink nod nod" (about the unspoken Costanza aspect of our job) now we know that on occasion, you got to put some big boy pants on (literally) and actually leave your home to do this fucking job. No big whoop. We know the price that the freedom comes at is occasionally having to actually do the job. Maddie though apparently wants it all! She wants to stay with her little needy kids and homeschool them (oh yeah, did I mention that?), make phone calls with an app that makes it sound like she's driving, blinkers clicking and all, and avoid having to work with the demon-possessed mentally retarded people and especially elbow-to-elbow with that fat obnoxious homosexual (none other than moi) who doesn't cut her a break. Somehow her super right-wing Protestant Christian sect can't save her from the Hell on Earth her job has become no matter how many snakes they charm or tongues they speak. (Yeah, I think her Church is one of them...)
Yep. Here we go again with another homophobic fundamental Christian lady and her vitriol towards me. Remember Michelle?
So unlike that situation, I'm not going to let this fester so that she can get the lions share of the Queens ear, AKA, convince the CEO that I'm the problem. I've already gone to Kathleen and complained about her attitude, about the fact that she isn't pulling her weight, even though she complains she never has time to do anything, and the fact that I'm not super appreciative of her being named Team Lead when clearly I have more experience, leadership skills, and productivity to suggest that if leadership is needed in the department, it should come to me.
So back to this morning, Maddie texted Mike (not me too as would be normal) and said that "something suddenly came up" (Marsha Marsha Marsha) and she couldn't make it to our 11:00 meeting. I asked Mike if he thinks that this might be the beginning of the end for Maddie. He doesn't seem to think so, perhaps he knows that she's prone to little tizzy fits and wanting to bury her head in the sand on occasion when she has to do a little bit more to show the boss that she's actually worth the paycheck that she's getting? We'll see what it all means.
But not letting that go, cuz I just can't, I sent out an email a while ago to the team, CC Kathleen, of course:
"Hey guys,
Since our meeting was canceled today, how about we get together Wednesday at 11:00 blah blah blah blah
That's right, I basically emailed Kathleen to let her know someone caused the very important planning meeting to be canceled.
Oh what machinations!
I am become Death, destroyer of jobs.