More Evil Elves

 


Merry Fucking Christmas! More Evil Elves plague me...

When I went to Orlando a couple weeks ago, I noticed that on the last day of my visit, when I turned the key to my car's ignition, it gave just a slight hesitation to start...just a second or two. This never happened before! Oh wait, I thought, yes it did. Several years ago, only a couple years after buying it when it was essentially still new, this happened. Then, soon, the car wouldn't start at all. Got it jumped and went to the nearest repair shop. $200 plus later, new "special" battery. Guess what, it's getting worse the past day or so. Today it really was noticeable trying to turn over. Whelp, better find a local repair shop I can trust. The one I went to previously here in town, which I figure was pretty trustworthy, has recently been torn down. Of course.

I was planning on making my way up to Universal again this morning but just a short trip to Walmart and walking around, aided, mind you, by pushing a cart, wore me the fuck out! And I thought I got enough sleep last night, putting some 12+ hours in. Jardiance side-effects, perhaps even including ketoacidosis? The still nascent sinus infection? Escalation of diabetes related issues? Heart disease? Or simply too fucking fat? Saw some dude at the store and he looked at least about 400 lbs. with layers of blubber overflow. I don't have that. But he looked like he was walking, unaided, fine.

Found another big Palmetto cockroach this morning. Thankfully dead, like the last one two days ago, but living and/or dead, this makes about eight or so in the past few months, perhaps since Hurricane Ian. Somehow when that storm blew a few things around, including my skirting, I think it somehow displaced a few of the fuckers into my house, perhaps underneath the flooring. I've even had to endure the absolute fucking horror of not one time, but THREE FUCKING TIMES I found a big ol' roach in my coffee cup. One was alive and scared the fuck outta me, but I sprayed him good and finally got him. The other two were dead and actually ended up in my coffee after I poured it and I only discovered them as I was FUCKING DRINKING IT nearly swallowing them!!! New boric acid lines are 'bout to be laid. I will NOT have another Cypress Springs!

TurboTax training is a total shitshow. I'm feeling less and less enthusiastic about this. There's gotta be a reason they bring on hundreds of new agents a month. Massive turnover? This looks worse than Disney in complexity as well. Oh speaking of Disney, they reached out to me via email asking why I quit and if there was anything they could do to keep me on. Welp, gotta admit, that kinda hit me in the feels. Not many employers do that. I thought about it, considered the dire TurboTax future and asked if I could be reinstated. In true Evil Elf fashion though, I haven't heard anything back.

Despite some of the days this time of year being down right gorgeous for just sitting on the verandah and fanning the vapors, I , of course, still can't. Not as long as the ever-bionic-eared watch-lapdog of Mary's is up, and it seems to be 24/7. What's more, Mary's TV, on VOLUME 11, makes it unsavory, especially when I can make out what it is, seems to be hyper-vitriolic Trump is the Messiah shit. On the other side, I've got to contend with one of the Boo Boo girl's new hobby...playing drums. Yup. Our thin-walled mobile homes are separated by a mere 6 feet and they think it's okay to play drums.

Amazon is on my shit list now. This week, they sent out the wrong thing to me. This is the second time this happened. The first time, it turned out the wrong light bulb was something I could use so it wasn't so bad. This time, the toilet tank item I needed wasn't sent, it was another toilet tank contraption that I didn't need. Well screw them. They want me to drive 30 miles to the nearest UPS Store to return it. Fuck that. I kept it, worth $23 which I paid $8. I went to Walmart and got what I really needed, though they charged $12, but either way it costs Amazon $15 for their error and it only cost me $20. How is it I win in this? I don't fucking know.

Fuck you Hulk, Fuck you Palmetto Bugs, Fuck you Work, Fuck you Neighbors, and Fuck you Amazon.

And a Happy New Year!