I was cruising 'round Google Maps the other day after the news reports of the explosion damaging the bridge linking Crimea with mainland Russia. I stumbled across the site near the bridge of a regional museum. It may well have been, prior to 2014, a museum honoring the history of that part of the Crimean Peninsula from the perspective of Ukraine, but now, in the grip of the Russians, it's all about Russia and its history in the area. No doubt a subtle yet effective propaganda tool used for the past few years to help legitimize Russia's claim to the region, ostensibly to what, I'm sure, were the many school children ferried there on field trips over almost the past decade. Now adults, many of those school kids are likely on the front lines in this war.
The above illustration was used as a graphic on the museum's website, specifically the page that opens to the exhibits that tell the history of the Crimean War. I couldn't find out much info on the meaning of the painting but I would guess, since the Russians control the content of this museum and its website, it depicts the bravery of those on the Russian side of the well-known mid-nineteenth century conflict. The flag, I'd guess, is either a regional or battle flag of the Imperial Russian defenders we see here, stalwart, yet ultimately ill-fated in the overall outcome of that war. In case you don't know, Russia lost that one. Ironically, many historians believe it was primarily due to mismanagement and disorganization. Well, that, and the fact they were up against the then world powers of the United Kingdom, France and the Ottoman Empire.
I'm pretty sure that when Putin goes to bed at night, he dreams of images such as this...the oppressed Russians defending what amounts to their version of the Alamo. At least it's what his propaganda machine is trying to put out there. "Rise up young men of glorious Russia and defend the Motherland from the facist Neo-Nazi Ukrainians."
Here's were Putin's visions start to get blurred by reality. The desire for nations, especially those designated as powerful enough to influence such things, to keep checks and balances on the spheres of power and control, makes even the underdog factions of the world formidable opponents. He likely sees Ukraine as a push-over and easily bested by his mighty Russian forces. But we've seen over the past year he's sorely mistaken. Are we to believe that all of this unanticipated pushback on Ukraine's part all because the comparatively tiny forces under Zalensky are that much more trained and tenacious? Well, that may be part of it, but not the greater part by far. Let's live in reality. The troubles Putin's having are due to the covert intervention of the US and our allies. I have no doubt of it. Why is it not played up? Well, obviously, we don't want Putin going all bat-shit cra cra and pushing the red button, but I think that in this new era of warfare, we're all that much removed from the kind of conflicts as portrayed in the above picture. Proly something like below would fit the bill for today's version of a battle scene:
So beware Mr. Putin and tread lightly. Best to be stilling those sabers and march those boys home. Like the Grand Duchy of Fenwick in the awesome Peter Sellers movie that inspired the title of this post, Ukraine does indeed hold (by proxy) the proverbial "football." And as shown in the movie, it indeed has flashy lights and electronic beeps and doesn't take kindly to being shaken.