So now the environmentally-woke millennials are taking away the one thing I looked forward to for decades...
My lawn.
Yup, the climate change Chicken Little tree-huggers now want us to give up our American dream of sweet-smelling, freshly-mowed green grass in our yards. And right now? Really? Just when I think I'm at the very cusp of the age well in the circumstances of where I can scream out to any errant neighborhood kids to "Get off my lawn!" I mean, the time is now: Retiree: Check. 55+ mobile home park: Check. Nothing to do all day during the lockdown but sneer at my noisy neighbors: Check. Front yard having said "lawn": Check (though quite patchy and likely more weeds than grass, and, of course, only a few square feet.)
According to this article on CNN, lawns are so "Okay, Boomer."
Better to be rid of it and save countless gallons of water. Perhaps let weeds like dandelions take over instead since they require less water and actually provide flowers for pollination, suggests the article.
Cripes, imagine if these bozos get elected to city councils and shit? There'll soon be ordinances against lawns. Fines and maybe even jail time. I can see that jail cell chit chat now:
Bubba: Hey man, whatcha in for?
Me: Um, grass.
Bubba: No shit, me too. Got tapped carryin' just over an ounce.
Me: Er, no, not marijuana...grass, as in the stuff in your yard. I wanted a nice lawn.
Bubba: Don't you give a shit about the planet, man? Hope you rot in here!