Super Plasti-Man is here!
Cue the Underdog theme song
Alright, so I came up with this great plan!
This plan came about from the numerous financial guru YouTube videos I've been watching lately and a trip to my mailbox.
1. YouTube money wizards infected me with the idea that having a shit ton of credit cards and making "them work" for you is a good thing. (Better than me actually working. Am I right? Anyone? Anyone? I'll see myself out.)
2. My mailbox this week (I only check it weekly) had, as usual, a shit ton of junk mail including the usual new credit card offers, all from banks I already have cards from.
3. I usually toss these credit card offers in the trash but this time, I thought, since I don't have a job...why not get MORE credit cards. Sounds like a great fuckin' idea to me!
(I hear you groaning and mumbling "Oh shit, here we go again!" SHUT UP!)
4. The first one I applied for was a Bank of America BankAmericard Mastercard (Try saying that five times fast! And, the whole concept of a BankAmericard Mastercard is quite mind blowing since, if you look at the history of American credit cards, it was BOA's BankAmericard that eventually morphed into VISA!) ). Unlike my other BOA card, this one has no annual fee. It has an 18 month introductory 0% APR (so, I figure, up to October 2019). I applied online with the code from the junk mail letter since the offer was in my "offers" tab on my existing BOA online account but that one had a 15 month 0% APR. I was approved with an $8,000 credit limit. (A bit low, especially compared to the BOA VISA which is $15,000, but I guess they usually start new cards a little lower.)
5. Also included in the pile of junk mail was, yet again, another offer for the American Express Gold Premier Rewards Card. They do come out in very pretty envelopes. Nice thick paper and rich colors with gold embossing. In the past I was reluctant to opt for this because of the hefty annual fee of $195, even if it is waived the first year. And, it's a charge card requiring full monthly pay off. But I pay off both the BOA VISA and the Blue Preferred AMEX each month anyway so I guess I'm used to doing that. Only now, with no income, it might be a bit more tricky.
6. The Gold card now offers a 50,000 point signup bonus if the minimum spend of $2,000 in three months is met. Hey, I can pay rent with this. Of course, that means a 2.5% fee to use a card for rent and that works out to $28.95 or so. Yikes, I know. But the 50,000 Membership Rewards points converts to an average of $500 or so if used for gift cards, and an even better rate for airfare through their affiliated airlines programs if I transfer them. A vacation in the midst of unemployment? Well, I do have the available time off! :)
7. Click. Wait a couple of seconds or so and wha la, in a few days I'll receive my Oh-So-Bougy AMEX Gold. It won't be made out of metal like the platinum and isn't the ultimate baller card like the Centurion but for me, in my socio-economic status...especially considering that this was THE yuppie card of the '80s...I'll feel so much better. I'm pretty sure that if I go the Van Life route, I'll be the only one in Slab City with one. 'Till I get rolled by some meth head for it.
8. The crux of the plan: Once I have both new cards, I do a Balance Transfer to the new Mastercard (Oh yea, I forgot to mention...0% BT Fee in the first 60 days!) from Simplicity (~$300), AMEX Blue ($682) and
9. Gotta be careful of a couple things...First, I can't let the new Mastercard get even close to 30% utilization so I'll need to call in a few months from now to get that CL raised. Proly right around the usual Veruca Report time. Second, I have to spend $2,000 on the AMEX Gold, but how to do that in the current drive to hoard cash?
10. That's where Plastiq comes in. Since the leasing company that holds my rent lease (right now) won't take American Express, I have to use the Plastiq method. Plastiq is an online service that converts CC payments into a check. But wait Michael, that's still spending cash since you have to pay off the card each month. Well, let's see. I just now used my Discover card with the Plastiq site to issue myself a check. And it looks like it went through alright. So effectively, it's a cash advance without the additional problems of doing a cash advance directly through the card itself. Yes, Plastiq charges the 2.5% fee but, if I'm not mistaken, the card would charge a 3% fee plus tack on the often exorbitant cash advance finance charge which accrues from Day One, no grace period. And, if you ask me, I would figure taking cash advances on cards starts to trigger algorithms. Don't need that.
11. Not sure I can use the AMEX Gold the same way to pay myself since one of the YT Gurus said they don't allow party-to-party transfers like that, and especially not to grind the minimum qualification for the promo. So I may have to direct the payment from Plastiq to the leasing company. This makes me nervous...what if they're late? Heck, I don't even know for sure that they're legit! I may just have been ripped off to the tune of $940 just now!
Oh that's right! There is no need to fear. :)