With your host, that other notoriously obvious Hollywood closet-case celeb (No, not Tom Cruise.), the fabulous Paul Lynde! (Well, we'll pretend he's not dead.)
Cue the funky theme song...
Welcome gawkers and gossip freaks to our brand-new show: "Kevin Spacey's Dating Game!"
Now as if you didn't know, bitch, this is how it's played...
Kevin will ask our gaggle of contestants, all actual one-episode players from his Netflix TV series "House of Cards" three questions. From their answers, and, no doubt, their hot twink or stud looks, Kevin will chose one, or more, of them to join him in his dressing room for a little "mentoring" sesh.
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| Note: These are just a few of the REAL actors who were on the show for one episode according to IMDB |
Ladies and gentlemen, my bet's on that 16-year-old-lookin' Number 1! Whaddya think? Audience applauds wildly.
But Johnny, what else does our lucky winner, or winners get? Well our winners will get:
A free year's supply of "K-PAX" brand lubricant. When you want to slingshot smoothly to Uranus, use K-PAX lube!
But wait, they also get:
A magnificent twelve piece coffee mug set made of fine Koybayashi porcelain from the Keyser Soze collection.
That's not all, there's also:
A wonderfully luxurious Sealy Posturepedic Rose Petal mattress.
And last but not least, our winners get:
Whatever's "in the box!" (What's in the box??!!)
Oh...and of course they get a mouthful of Spacey Spooge.