 |
| Gay sex. Is in? Oh yes, Daddy! |
At a pretty busy intersection near my home (Rt. 434 and Rt. 17-92) there's a couple of LED billboards that flash super-bright crazy-colorful advertisements at us hapless drivers waiting for the light to change. One of them has recently started running the following message among its rotation of maybe a dozen or so ads. It simply, in big, bold letters says: PRAY FOR USA. (Not "Pray for the USA" as would probably be more grammatically correct. I guess the letters wouldn't be as large if they had to cram "the" in there.) In smaller text as a footnote it says 2 Corinthians 7:14.
From the moment I saw it I knew it must be some religious group's damnation of the recent Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage. In the guise of a plea for the country's "right" people to appeal to God for forgiveness.
But the thing is, the sponsors of this billboard ad got it wrong. I imagine them to be folks who would consider themselves extremely knowledgeable about their God and His Holy Message (ie the Bible) and probably can throw quotes from it around every Sunday like quarterbacks for Jesus in the great football game of morality. Having myself to Google the passage notations since I most certainly am not an all-knowing smarty pants like they no doubt believe they are, I discovered that they probably meant to make reference to 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says the following:
"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."
Yeah this is definitely what they were going for. "Wicked ways" "Forgive their sin" Oh yeah, we know what they mean.
But instead, the billboard has readers looking up 2 Corinthians 7:14 which says:
"For if I have boasted any thing to him of you, I am not ashamed; but as we spake all things to you in truth, even so our boasting, which I made before Titus, is found a truth."
What the fuck does this mean?
I tried to read the whole of the chapter myself and of course it was painful to read. Disjointed sentences that fail to be cohesive to anything resembling a story or a recollection or a logical accounting of anything...at first glance. But after reading explanations of the meanings (oh fuck what a labyrinth, no wonder religious types are whack...this shit fucks with your deductive reasoning and ability to self-analyse) I was even more confused. It forces you to adhere to someone else's ramblings which are meant to explain the first set of ramblings but only proceed to muddy the waters even further with more mumbo-jumbo.
Basically, as I could tell, it's about an apostle (St. Paul? That's what interpretations say though I didn't see his name anywhere in the few chapters I read of actual scripture.) speaking unashamedly and boasting of the people to whom this message is addressed to someone called Titus (a "companion" of Paul's according again to interpretation) and emphasis was placed on him making this boast before Titus.
So, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. I will interpret this shit how I see it.
St. Paul and Titus are in a bear master/twink slave relationship and St. Paul is boasting of his admiration of the huge cocks on some guys he met and this gets him and Titus all hot so St. Paul brutally fucks Titus's tight boi hole, quickly pulls out and absolutely drenches an open-mouthed Titus with a massive cum shot. They snowball and solemnly declare their love true.
So the billboard is acknowledging that gay love is good and true and directs us to read a little Bible porn to bring home its message with a "happy ending."
Who knew you could fap to holy scripture? You could probably use the silk ribbon bookmark as a cockring.
Oh pardon me, my elevator is here. Ding! Going down, sir? I guess I am.