Monday, May 26, 2014
9:25 PM: I woke up after a good eight hours satisfied that I'd caught up on some much needed sleep which I'd felt deprived of recently and that it worked towards replenishing myself. I felt a cortisol cascade, and subconsciously stretched my muscles in preparation for a healthy awake "day." (Since I work a night schedule, this is an expected time frame of waking bodily function.)
10:00 PM: I made a small pot of coffee (5 cups) and drank it along with a 12 oz. glass of Diet Coke for a nice jolt of caffeine to begin my day. I saw that I had some leftover greens to rejuvenate a healthy salad of romaine lettuce, fresh spinach, pickles and tomatoes and eliminated some of the negative foods in my fridge. I partitioned the cherry/raspberry pie I made, threw out some old salad dressings, and made a personal vow to eat healthier.
10:15 PM: I took my daily medication of Lisinopril, Metformin, Vitamins B2 and D, 81 mg Aspirin and Levothyroxin.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
12:15 AM: After taking care of some minor financial issues over the phone, I decided to browse the web and suddenly I recalled a recent waking dream where I remembered my conversation years ago with my primary care physician. During my initial introduction with her she'd evaluated my new patient questionnaire in which I'd indicated that I drank up to an average of 5 drinks per day of alcohol. She looked at me as if I was a freak of nature and asked me if I needed a prescription of Antabuse, instructing me that more than one drink per day is considered abnormal. (Actually, that's the case for women, for men it's two per day.) I'd declined it and said it was being reduced by myself (a lie). Her reaction to my honest assessment of my drinking behavior was yet another in a succession of reactions I'd received over the years to my until-then "normalized" perception of my then-current drinking habits. For my tiny social group (ie. only Ric) my drinking was not "out there."
12:30 AM: Though I've thought back to this interaction with my doctor many times and how it impacted me, I coupled its memory with my recent dissatisfaction of my increased drinking in relation to months ago with my escalating weight gain and physical difficulties resulting from these changes. I started searching sites related to not only Antabuse, but other, newer medications available for the treatment of chronic drinking.
12:45 AM: As I read several articles from various medical websites on the issue of alcoholism and alcohol dependency I started to inquire about alcohol withdrawal syndrome and the effects it has on the brain. Though I'd never in all the years I'd been drinking experienced symptoms like DTs or seizures, I related to the anxiety and excitability noted as a result of alcohol withdrawal and further read that alcohol withdrawal syndrome can result in brain damage or death. So I interpreted this as an excuse to go ahead and buy some beer since I haven't drank in a couple of days and wouldn't want to fall into a alcohol-deprived state bringing on DTs, seizure or death. Basically, I was trying to legitimize and sanction my urges to drink. Of course, it worked.
12:55 AM: I drove over to my local 7-11, bought two premium beer six-packs (New Belgium Fat Tire Amber Ale and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale) for a total of $21 or so (convenience store prices) and drove home.
1:30 AM: Within 10 minutes of my arrival back home I'd sucked down three beers.
1:50 AM: I'd cooked up a six-pack of Sabrett beef franks and a 20 oz. can of Bush's maple syrup baked beans and ate it all within a few minutes.
2:30 AM: I'd consumed most of my beers by now but noticed I'd slowed down a tad. I still had 3 beers left.
5:30 AM: I woke up and looked over to my side table where a full bottle (the last one) was sitting. I'd obviously passed out, but it still looked good despite being a tad warm so I drank it and went right back to sleep for a few minutes.
6:15 AM: Feeling hungover, but not horribly so, I decided to post my night's experience online for posterity. Perhaps it will help a future me in determining the solution to my addictive ways. Good luck, future me!
9:25 PM: I woke up after a good eight hours satisfied that I'd caught up on some much needed sleep which I'd felt deprived of recently and that it worked towards replenishing myself. I felt a cortisol cascade, and subconsciously stretched my muscles in preparation for a healthy awake "day." (Since I work a night schedule, this is an expected time frame of waking bodily function.)
10:00 PM: I made a small pot of coffee (5 cups) and drank it along with a 12 oz. glass of Diet Coke for a nice jolt of caffeine to begin my day. I saw that I had some leftover greens to rejuvenate a healthy salad of romaine lettuce, fresh spinach, pickles and tomatoes and eliminated some of the negative foods in my fridge. I partitioned the cherry/raspberry pie I made, threw out some old salad dressings, and made a personal vow to eat healthier.
10:15 PM: I took my daily medication of Lisinopril, Metformin, Vitamins B2 and D, 81 mg Aspirin and Levothyroxin.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
12:15 AM: After taking care of some minor financial issues over the phone, I decided to browse the web and suddenly I recalled a recent waking dream where I remembered my conversation years ago with my primary care physician. During my initial introduction with her she'd evaluated my new patient questionnaire in which I'd indicated that I drank up to an average of 5 drinks per day of alcohol. She looked at me as if I was a freak of nature and asked me if I needed a prescription of Antabuse, instructing me that more than one drink per day is considered abnormal. (Actually, that's the case for women, for men it's two per day.) I'd declined it and said it was being reduced by myself (a lie). Her reaction to my honest assessment of my drinking behavior was yet another in a succession of reactions I'd received over the years to my until-then "normalized" perception of my then-current drinking habits. For my tiny social group (ie. only Ric) my drinking was not "out there."
12:30 AM: Though I've thought back to this interaction with my doctor many times and how it impacted me, I coupled its memory with my recent dissatisfaction of my increased drinking in relation to months ago with my escalating weight gain and physical difficulties resulting from these changes. I started searching sites related to not only Antabuse, but other, newer medications available for the treatment of chronic drinking.
12:45 AM: As I read several articles from various medical websites on the issue of alcoholism and alcohol dependency I started to inquire about alcohol withdrawal syndrome and the effects it has on the brain. Though I'd never in all the years I'd been drinking experienced symptoms like DTs or seizures, I related to the anxiety and excitability noted as a result of alcohol withdrawal and further read that alcohol withdrawal syndrome can result in brain damage or death. So I interpreted this as an excuse to go ahead and buy some beer since I haven't drank in a couple of days and wouldn't want to fall into a alcohol-deprived state bringing on DTs, seizure or death. Basically, I was trying to legitimize and sanction my urges to drink. Of course, it worked.
12:55 AM: I drove over to my local 7-11, bought two premium beer six-packs (New Belgium Fat Tire Amber Ale and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale) for a total of $21 or so (convenience store prices) and drove home.
1:30 AM: Within 10 minutes of my arrival back home I'd sucked down three beers.
1:50 AM: I'd cooked up a six-pack of Sabrett beef franks and a 20 oz. can of Bush's maple syrup baked beans and ate it all within a few minutes.
2:30 AM: I'd consumed most of my beers by now but noticed I'd slowed down a tad. I still had 3 beers left.
5:30 AM: I woke up and looked over to my side table where a full bottle (the last one) was sitting. I'd obviously passed out, but it still looked good despite being a tad warm so I drank it and went right back to sleep for a few minutes.
6:15 AM: Feeling hungover, but not horribly so, I decided to post my night's experience online for posterity. Perhaps it will help a future me in determining the solution to my addictive ways. Good luck, future me!