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| The "good" ole days? |
One of my favs is a vlog depicting the everyday life of a gay couple in their mid-twenties. They started out in Tallahassee and now live in LA. ( Like Laverne and Shirley when they started out in Milwaukee and moved to LA...but they weren't a gay couple...or so we're led to believe...wink, wink)
Will and RJ seem to try to portray themselves in a matter-of-fact light. They like many gay people these days don't necessarily ascribe to perceived labels, they are just themselves. Now don't get me wrong, they don't eschew the term "gay" and are not shy about being labeled as such, it's just they define their relationship more from the standpoint of something normal and not even to be considered unusual. Kinda like if two straight friends were together you wouldn't say "Oh, they're a man and a woman in a straight relationship." See the difference there? Their relationship wouldn't be defined by their sexuality, it would just be understood.
While I fully get it and applaud their strive for inclusion, I also put this in the same context in that of a person of color feeling degraded by a white person if the white person said something like "Hey what's the name of that black guy in that movie?" In both the gay and black communities there can be too many "thought police" frankly that get all riled up over nothing.
Gay or black, fact of the matter is, we're minority status. By the very nature of being in the minority of the whole population, well take the United States as an example here, we're going to be "labeled" and singled-out as exclusive since we are not the majority. Simple as that. I don't think anything negative about it at all.
But as usual, I digress once again. I really wanted to point out a particular subject in Will and RJ's vlogs that's rarely discussed (on camera) but I know it must be a real struggle for them both. Will has "come out" if you will, as a person who recognizes they have a problem when drinking alcohol. Very much in vein with who they are, neither of them have put a label on this. Never have they used the term "alcoholic" or "problem drinker" they've just made almost matter-of-fact mention of it here and there, albeit the first time they spoke about it, it sounded like a coming-out speech.
And I use "they" as if they are both struggling with some form of alcohol dependency but it's been only mentioned that it's Will who has issue with his own drinking and, one has to assume, the negative consequences of his drinking. They've not said boo about RJ's drinking and whether or not he feels he too has an issue with it. Nor does RJ seem entirely sympathetic by his deeds to Will's dilemma. RJ drinks and parties heartily with their 20-something "I'm gonna live forever!" gay hipster friends with Will right there, drinking his ice water.
It's not for me to say if this will put a strain on their relationship. In fact, in the daily vlogs, they seem like life is going along quite swimmingly. But like Joan Rivers would say "Can we taaalk here?!" Even if it's first stage problem drinking, Will HAS to be feeling the stresses when RJ and their friends drink.
I remember back in the early nineties when I abstained while going out, people would be well meaning enough but they'd all be like "Let me buy you a drink." or "How come you're not drinking?" said with a look of concern like as if to say what's wrong with you? Maybe the culture is different now. And especially a hip Hollywood crowd, young or not, I'm sure they know their share of addicts.
Will has the willpower of a god to stand up to these pressures not to mention the persisting issues which likely brought him to drink too much in the first place...back home are his fucked up father and the never-talked-about brother. In LA, the gay-hipster-look pressures (what to weigh, what to eat, what to wear, who to hang out with, etc.) And RJ's co-dependency pressures. I don't see RJ as wanting to live with a recovering alcoholic. Do we see him supporting Will by also abstaining? And from the looks of him on some of the videos with him "turnt" to stupification and at the point of near passing out...maybe he should look into it for his own health as well. Just sayin'.
But I digress yet again. Who knows what really goes on behind closed doors, and shuttered camera lenses? I just wish Will would be a bit more telling in his vlogs about his alcohol related struggles and how he deals so effectively with them. I for one would like to know. As someone who tried doing what he did at his age but ultimately failed, if judging by my hangover today and yet another bottle of beer sitting beside me as my one and only friend, I hope the best for him.
*Tips bottle toward monitor in salute, then sucks the remains from the bottle. Hiccup. Burp.
EDIT: Coincidentally, Will and RJ's video they shot for the day I wrote this post featured them talking about this very issue. Will admits it's tough but he's persevering and RJ says he's stopped drinking too. Well congrats guys, like I said, it's far better to nip this when you're young. You're on the right path! Good luck and best wishes to you both!