GTA V: The Ballad Of Gay Everyone


So like millions of other gamers across the entire world, I got GTA V and have been playing it virtually non-stop. Being on vacation this week, I've been able to devote mad hours sitting back in my comfortable leather executive chair and basically crashing into, shooting and blowing up every mutha fucka in my way. That's the essential goal in all GTA titles of course...mayhem. Pure mayhem.

I just last night "beat the game" and finished all the main missions. This is the first GTA in which I even had the enthusiasm to do so...a big hand to its creators...they've got a really well designed, balanced and, most importantly, fun game here. But I do come away scratching my head a bit. (And it ain't 'cause I've been playing so much I've neglected showering. Well, I have, but that's not the reason for the itch.)

What the fuck is with all the homosexual innuendo?

The storyline features three main characters, two of which (Michael and Trevor) have an ever-constantly alluded to mysterious past which seems, at least in the incessant whining and just general "drama" Trevor kicks up anytime Michael is around or discussed, well, gay. It's like former lovers who've had a bitter breakup and are now forced to deal with each other, years later, and the wounds that have never quite healed over time.

Trevor right from the get go seemed "a bit off" as they used to say. And it wasn't just the obvious psycho-derivative, hot-headed trailer trash persona he was purposely designed to portray. His dialogue was rife with some gay sex remark with virtually every sentence. He lives "alone" but has a weird nerdy neighbor (who's probably a slight nod to the odd coke-bottle glasses wearing character (Bubbles) in the Canadian TV show "Trailer Park Boys ") who's always in his trailer. Trevor also has a protege of sorts; Wade, a twenties-something dreadlock-sporting sycophant who's constantly abused both verbally and physically by Trevor but comes loyally back again and again to do Trevor's deranged bidding. During one cutscene, Trevor quips that Wade could beat him off while they drive into the city. When Wade questions this Trevor chuckles and says, "No, not really. You can suck me off instead!"

In the end (The way Trevor likes it I bet. See, now I'm doing it!) the Trevor/Michael thing is never fully resolved. Their's a weird, possibly Stockholm-syndrome influenced relationship Trevor has with an older lady he kidnapped and later released, but it actually comes across as a bit Oedipus-complex-ish, if you ask me. And speaking of Oedipus-complex, Trevor's mother actually makes an appearance towards the end of the main storyline. What does she have to say about all the gay sex jokes, the homo-erotic tension and continual self-denial triggered homophobic attitudes portrayed by her son and all the men around him?

I don't remember. I was drunk by the time she arrived on the scene and passed out having earned my characters close to $30 mil in cash.