FLASHBACK SPECIAL: Day Runner Notes, August to October, 1997

Continued...

August

2 - 12-5, GLCS. As part of my DUI sentence, I had to complete 50 hours of community service. In Florida, one could chose any approved non-profit community-based program to do your work at. I chose to do Saturday afternoon clerical and reception work at the Orlando Gay and Lesbian Center called, back then, GLCS. This might have been my first day. I would eventually complete my 50 hours and liked it so much that I decided to continue for months afterwards volunteering for my own sense of community pride.

4 - Injury to toe. This was actually the first instance of gout. I just thought I'd broken a toe. Having no insurance, I didn't have it looked at. Just took some time off from work, (like I needed an excuse to do that) took lots of ibuprofen and rested it. If it was gout, as I suspect, that's pretty much all I could have done anyway.

7 - 12 pk. (sad face). Ugh. Here we go. Sure enough, this notation ends up being written in many times more through the month, especially in the last week or so. Several were back to back days. Grrr. That's some serious drinkin' there, buddy!

13 - Start Sprint. So I left DM (without even letting them know...eh, they got over it as you'll see) and worked outbound telemarketing at Sprint. Potential for being taken on as a Sprint worker after some months of contract service was a big lure. Hopes were high on this day. They wouldn't stay that way though.

That's pretty much it for August. We see a couple days taken out of work at Sprint in the last week of the month. Days that just happen to coincide with the now-more-popular "12 pk. with a sad face" notations. Coinky-dinky? Hmmm. Oh, and there seem to be weights recorded for every day throughout the month. Started at 207, down to 197 two weeks later, but back up to 206 by month's end. A pound a month, hangover days off and lots of beer. Oh this is a great diet, for sure!

September

2 - Toe aching again. If it's gout, as I suspect it was, it's no wonder. All that beer, sitting in a call center job, probably just laying in bed with the A/C full blast after work since, I remember, I was definitely not acclimated to Florida summers yet.

5 - 12 pk. This and all drinking notations from here on out no longer have a little sad face drawn next to them.. I guess I decided it wasn't sad anymore. The disease does that. Makes falling deeper and deeper into the abyss a relatively guilt-free and aloof affair.

6 - 12 pk.

7 - 6 pk.

8 - Out Sprint. Hmm. Really, I wonder why?

9 thru 11 - Out Sprint  All these days too? 

12 - Responded to Justin's Ad.

16 - Met Justin. So this is when I first met Justin in person, four days after responding to his AOL MTM (Male-To-Male) dating ad. We'd chatted in AOL private AOL chat rooms, Instant Messaged and talked on the phone for hours upon hours. I was desperately lonely. In a new state, no friends, job I hated, dwindling finances and the woes that comes with that. Not to mention drinking heavily and getting fat. Oh I was a mess. But I behaved well, I guess, 'cause I was able to attract the attention and hold it of a real, live twink. Hmmm, maybe things are really looking up for me? Maybe I found my true love? Did I? I'll not ramble on about this relationship here. Go here if you want the full scoop.

21 - Moved into Northlake Blvd. (airborne mattress) Oh what fun that was. What do I mean by "airborne mattress?" Didn't you follow the above link? Maybe you should.

26 - Out Sprint. Out to Cooker w/ Justin. Out to Southern w/ Justin. Southern...short for Southern Nights our fav club.

27 - 6 pk. and 6 pk. w/ Justin. Hey, why not enable young boys into our web of alcoholism? Well, he was actually "of age" you know.

28 - To Ocala w/ Justin. Remember what I wrote about this day? Ya, it's in that link, okay?!

29 - Cleared all stuff out Lakeside South. Old apartment duly abandoned and left with several months unpaid rent. Wasn't really the first time, and as Koyaanisqatsi will attest to, wouldn't be the last.

October

In the grayed out boxes representing the first days of the week starting September 28 I wrote this:

out Sprint (all week) Oh oh. Here we go again.

2 - Justin B-day (sad face) Asta Lavista (sp) Baby. Justin breaks up with me.

3 - Quit Sprint I remember I actually showed up at the office to tell them I quit. Oh, and to pick up my last paycheck.

5 - toe ache, minor  Gout again.

7 - Returned to DM  See, all was forgiven. Well, kinda. They actually will hire back anyone who didn't murder a fellow employee. Well, if they made sales, maybe that could be forgiven too...

11 - Borrowed $350 from Cindy. Nat. Coming Out Day City Hall festivities. I never repaid the money I borrowed from my sister, nor did I use it for what I said I would...to pay rent owed to my Altamonte roommate Steve. After my volunteer time at GLCS I went with a couple other guys from the Center and watched the activities (mainly podium proclamations from openly gay Orlando "celebrities") at the "Big Glass Dildo" (this sculpture, which back then had just recently been installed, outside the also newly-built Orlando City Hall.)

12 - To Southern w/ Justin, then to his house (smiley face) Make up sex? I really don't remember. Earned a smiley face so I'm thinkin'....yeah.

13 - out DM. To Skull Kingdom. Takin' time off from the "new job" again. Skull Kingdom was this really cheesy tourist trap haunted house attraction on I-Drive, but it was a good evening out with my roommates.

The rest of the month are just weight records (from 201, jumping up a week later to 208 then retreating back to 201 by Halloween) days off from DM which seemed to be increasing, and work out/non work out days. (I was doing fairly well in this regards...usually 3 to 4 times per week. I remember stepping was my work out of choice.) Oh, and also, I'd started charting my drinking by jotting down the number of drinks surrounded by a diamond symbol. It looks like, if I am to believe my past-self's honesty in record-keeping, I was pretty much keeping it under control.

The last three months of the year I only used these pages to record my weight loss progress, (Which I did diligently. It shows a steady progression to getting back into the 180's again) workouts (which increased in frequency) and drinking (which decreased significantly). I remember being very stressed these last months of 1997, as I hurtled towards my next crisis that would eventually spark the New London Syndrome.