It's said one voice can change the world.
But what's never mentioned is that the absence of of a voice can be just as effective.
Only, in the way that the voiceless one wishes least.
I AM THE POWERLESSNESS OF ONE.
When I was young and hopeful, I yearned silently and secretly for a life in which I could love and embrace another young man and we would be together.
Perhaps, I thought, we would not be honest or truthful about our love for one another to many people outside our close knit friends or family. But it would be a bond that would still be as everlasting and right as those spoke of in fairy tales. You know, the quintessential "and they lived happily ever after".
But I came of age in the dawning era of AIDS and that meant that the perception of the general population of my community, according to the broadcast and print media of the times, was primarily opposed to the mere idea of same sex relationships let alone a life-long commitment between members of the same sex. To them, as uninformed as they were, sometimes due to no fault of their own, they saw homosexuality as simply a blight upon the land, encouraging a plague that should be stricken, lest it affect them and their young. Many came to that conclusion at the hands of both a preacher and the supposed holy words he used as source material. To them my thoughts of an eternal union with another man was an outright abomination.
So I silenced myself. I spoke no more, even when alone, of the dream that I'd one day live in a world where my lover and I would hold hands, hug, and kiss tenderly within eye shot of the rest of the world. Like some monstrous beast I felt, my hopes and wishes were shunned. We were expected to be heard of no more.
Year after year passed and I found no kindred spirit because unless you're looking for one, there's only the guarantee I can say now...you'll probably never find one. Who knows how many a spark I left unnoticed? Who knows how many faint sighs I neglected to hear? Who knows how many potential partners I'd failed to even acknowledge, though perhaps the occasion of our meeting was literally just a blink of an eye? All because I was taught that what I'd wished for could never be.
The famous motto "Power Of One" speaks to the individual who feels that their single voice among the loud blaring of the crowd of millions would still matter if only they would use it.
How true that is. If only to convince yourself of your conviction and determination. Because, for some causes, you may not find a ready gathering of fellow believers at hand and by your side, but do not despair. Because the power of your one voice is hope that your dream will endure if not right away, at least in the long run.
Unlike me, the powerlessness of one.
One who spoke not a word during the numerous bullying I endured in my school days.
Who said nothing when AIDS became a known disease and was attributed to a singular lifestyle out of ignorance, bigotry and bias.
One who sat by and watched family and friends date, become engaged and marry all along thinking I'd never have the opportunity to experience the same joy and fulfillment as them.
Who sits here now, a balding, overweight, middle-aged man with no delusions. I know my time for finding my soul mate has passed. I can only now hope that it's a better climate in this world for younger folks to be free and enjoy the kind of acceptance I never found.
One who sits by watching tearfully as media reports come in, heralding the news of the ongoing struggle for rights equality and the simple, yet elusive ability to give every consenting adult in the land the right to find love, everlasting and lawfully, in the arms of the one they want to spend their life with, no matter who they are.
But what's never mentioned is that the absence of of a voice can be just as effective.
Only, in the way that the voiceless one wishes least.
I AM THE POWERLESSNESS OF ONE.
When I was young and hopeful, I yearned silently and secretly for a life in which I could love and embrace another young man and we would be together.
Perhaps, I thought, we would not be honest or truthful about our love for one another to many people outside our close knit friends or family. But it would be a bond that would still be as everlasting and right as those spoke of in fairy tales. You know, the quintessential "and they lived happily ever after".
But I came of age in the dawning era of AIDS and that meant that the perception of the general population of my community, according to the broadcast and print media of the times, was primarily opposed to the mere idea of same sex relationships let alone a life-long commitment between members of the same sex. To them, as uninformed as they were, sometimes due to no fault of their own, they saw homosexuality as simply a blight upon the land, encouraging a plague that should be stricken, lest it affect them and their young. Many came to that conclusion at the hands of both a preacher and the supposed holy words he used as source material. To them my thoughts of an eternal union with another man was an outright abomination.
So I silenced myself. I spoke no more, even when alone, of the dream that I'd one day live in a world where my lover and I would hold hands, hug, and kiss tenderly within eye shot of the rest of the world. Like some monstrous beast I felt, my hopes and wishes were shunned. We were expected to be heard of no more.
Year after year passed and I found no kindred spirit because unless you're looking for one, there's only the guarantee I can say now...you'll probably never find one. Who knows how many a spark I left unnoticed? Who knows how many faint sighs I neglected to hear? Who knows how many potential partners I'd failed to even acknowledge, though perhaps the occasion of our meeting was literally just a blink of an eye? All because I was taught that what I'd wished for could never be.
The famous motto "Power Of One" speaks to the individual who feels that their single voice among the loud blaring of the crowd of millions would still matter if only they would use it.
How true that is. If only to convince yourself of your conviction and determination. Because, for some causes, you may not find a ready gathering of fellow believers at hand and by your side, but do not despair. Because the power of your one voice is hope that your dream will endure if not right away, at least in the long run.
Unlike me, the powerlessness of one.
One who spoke not a word during the numerous bullying I endured in my school days.
Who said nothing when AIDS became a known disease and was attributed to a singular lifestyle out of ignorance, bigotry and bias.
One who sat by and watched family and friends date, become engaged and marry all along thinking I'd never have the opportunity to experience the same joy and fulfillment as them.
Who sits here now, a balding, overweight, middle-aged man with no delusions. I know my time for finding my soul mate has passed. I can only now hope that it's a better climate in this world for younger folks to be free and enjoy the kind of acceptance I never found.
One who sits by watching tearfully as media reports come in, heralding the news of the ongoing struggle for rights equality and the simple, yet elusive ability to give every consenting adult in the land the right to find love, everlasting and lawfully, in the arms of the one they want to spend their life with, no matter who they are.