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| "Don't even fucking THINK about touching my fucking dolls!" |
I've been kicked in the ass once again by my bad history.
The Black List I mentioned before may actually be only as pertinent as the stuff undissolved by the Magic Seven Years of Time like the other shit on one's credit report, but I still got one douche bag demerit that is still alive. My broken lease at Cypress Springs, aka La Casa Coucharacha, back in the summer of '04 is just shy of the 7 year mark.
And it's what snagged me.
So my application at the Altamonte place was denied and I'm back to square one.
I'm left with two choices. Either find another private party rental agreement where they don't care about old housing debts or stay here. Well, actually there is a 3rd choice: Pay what I owe to the former landlord and clear my record. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Er, that ain't gonna happen!
When I consider what I really want to spend and the relative comfort of familiarity, staying here may be a good option after all.
So like several months ago, I'm at a road I find too scary to travel and want to turn back. The negative aspects of a familiar situation seem far better than the potentially worse negatives of an unfamiliar one.
What a pessimist I've become. Where's my sense of adventure?
Part 2 will probably evolve into Part 3 since I really am totally undecided as to which path I'll take.
I can only hope that whatever I decide, it turns out favorable in the long run. I can't deal with the constant stress of another failure.
I just can't.
(BTW: The header photo has nothing to do with the subject matter really. It came up when I searched "greed" in Google Images looking for something to represent the greed of the apartment complex companies. I liked this picture so much though, so here it is. ;)
(Addendum: Actually, to be honest, the little girl in the picture is a great representation of my feelings right now. I'm trying to ardently hold onto what's mine. Even if it is only 3 ugly old dolls. They're mine dammit! Let me be! I need them!)