Sometimes you don't
Almond Joy's got nuts
Mounds don't
Sometimes you feel like a nut
Sometimes you don't
Almost two weeks ago, in the midst of my week long bender, while I was re-visiting 7-Eleven yet again to get more beer, the Hispanic guy in line ahead of me handed the Pakistani cashier a note. Neither understood what it said since, from what little the Hispanic guy could speak in English, it was a written request from his English-speaking girl friend, but he was apparently illiterate and the Pakistani guy, though he understood English, apparently knew little of American consumer goods. The cashier showed me the note and asked me if I knew what it was. It looked like it had been scribbled by a kindergartner but was easily legible. It simply said ALMOND JOY in block letters.
For a couple of seconds there, it was like the three blind mice because I was already three sheets to the wind and I was standing there with my second 12-pack of the day in my grip, trying to both maintain balance and now think of what this note said. Then I remembered...the candy bar. I told the cashier what it was and he motioned the patron towards the assortment of candies.
Thinking now about that incident and the famous TV commercial jingle hawking that chocolate covered confection and its brother Mounds, I'm struck by how true it is...
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Sometimes you don't.
I went to work each day last week. Of course it helped that I really only had to work two of the days. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I was scheduled with the other newbies on the team to attend yet more training. By week's end I felt good about the long term prospects there. There seemed to be no negative consequences to the four day "vacation" from the week before so I thought I'd keep at this 'till at least the next Defarge Crisis, which I hoped would take a while coming so as to allow me to build up a nice, fat Give-A-Fuck Fund. More importantly, I was back on the wagon and it felt good. It's great waking up without a hangover.
But this morning, after getting half dressed to go into work, I metaphorically chose an Almond Joy rather than a Mounds.
I felt like a nut.
So here I am, Monday afternoon when I should have just finished my last break, readying myself for the mad rush out at 5 o'clock, I'm sitting at home in my underwear, quaffing back the second can of a fresh 12-pack of Busch.
And savoring the sweet coconut, chocolate and almonds of a delicious Almond Joy.
Like all sinfully decadent pleasures, I'll enjoy it now...but I'll pay for it later.