Well, today I decided to do a little research on the employee comment boards about the company I'll probably be working for in a few weeks. Maybe I should have done this weeks ago before I invested so much time and effort into getting it. I was shocked.
Now we all know these "opinion sites" are really bitch session forums. Usually an employee that quits in frustration or is fired from a company will post about it ranting at how "unfair" the employer is. So I expected there to be complaints and negativism. But I didn't figure it would be this bad.
The company, which for now will remain unnamed (just in case), had by far the highest number of negative posts of any other company I did a search for. Even notorious ghetto-infested boiler rooms like Convergys and Dial America had a better ratio of good/bad comments and nowhere near the volume of posts.
And they weren't all poorly written curse word filled rants of idiot employees trying to be spiteful. Most were well written with good grammar and spelling; many at least 6 paragraphs of text detailing all manner of ghastly experiences they've had working there.
Gulp! What am I getting myself into.
Already I'm stressed about the hoops I've had to jump through...yes, like a trained animal...to complete the pre-hiring process. Now that I've done all I can do, I get a voicemail on Monday telling me if I am still interested in the position to press "1" now. It was a recording. So they not only issue you the job offer via phone rather than in writing like most jobs, it's a freaking automated pre-recorded message at that!
The message said that if I wasn't able to press "1", for any reason (yeah, how about because it's just a voicemail message) I should not call my recruiter since other pre-recorded calls will be made to me at random times over the coming days.
So I have to just sit around waiting for a computer to call me so I can press "1"?
This is seriously fucked up!
The recording hasn't called me back yet and it's been 2 days. I'm getting worried. I tried calling the lady who "hired" me but she didn't answer and her voicemail is full so I can't leave a message.
Oh man. The very beginning of this journey and we have major FUBAR already.
Well, it's my problem. There's no reason you shouldn't get a laugh, so here's a brief excerpt of the dialogue in that Abbot and Costello bit. If you've never seen it, it's on YouTube...do check it out. A true classic!
Lou Costello: (to stranger) Excuse me ... can you tell me where Bagel Street is?
Man: Sorry Buddy, I haven't got a dime!
Lou Costello: Who's asking you for money? I'm only asking you where Bagel Street is!
Man: Do I know where Bagel Street is?? Of course I know where Bagel Street is! What do I look like, a dummy? Do I look like I have just come off a boat? Is there a tag on my lapel saying that I just came from Ellis Island? Of course I know where Bagel Street is! I was born and raised on Bagel Street! My brother was born on Bagel Street! You know my brother?
Lou Costello: All I'm asking you ...
Man: (interrupting) Why do you go round talking about my brother? I'll have you understand my brother is one of the finest guys to have ever walked in shoe leather. My brother was an honest student at school! Go ahead, say something nasty about my brother. Say something like ... 'he shouldn't get a parole!'
Lou Costello: I'm asking you where Bagel Street is! A common ordinary citizen asking another fellow where Bagel Street is! I have to deliver these hats to the Susquehanna Hat Company!
Man: (grabs Lou by the lapels) Susquehanna Hat Company!
Lou Costello: Let go of me!
Man: (points to Lou's hat) Is that a Susquehanna hat?
Lou Costello: Yeah!
Man: (Takes off Lou's hat and holds it) You know who makes these hats?
Lou Costello: I don't know some ...
Man: (interrupting) Child labor! Little girls. 13 - 14 years old. Little girls with curls down their hair. They work 13 - 14 hours a day. They work in a sweatshop all day long. (punches hole through top of hat) Here's what I think of a Susquehanna hat!
Lou Costello: (helplessly looking on as man goes crazy ripping his hat apart) Seven and a half dollars!!
Man: Ow!! (he's just cut his finger) Mmmm (sucking finger)
Lou Costello: What's the matter?
Man: So you put the wire in there to cut my finger? (beating Lou over the head with the hat)