Oh, brother!Getting fired from this company is like undertaking the Sisyphean task of repeatedly pushing a boulder up a steep hill only to have it kicked back down again before you can reach the top.
I go in yesterday (my Monday) and even dressed for the "big event"...my termination, that is. I thought Laura would be there awaiting me, pretending nonchalance until I read in ESP (the almighty schedule software) that I was scheduled for a meeting with her, probably around 9:30ish (so she could gather some HR-required co-management "witnesses" (oh, I know the drill...) and reserve the "bubble chamber".
I even wore my contacts instead of my usual Armani eyeglasses so I could look her straight in the eyes, watching glibly as she shakily tried to seem at ease with what couldn't amount to more than one of her first dozen terminations, I would think. She's only been in management for a couple years. Well, in this field with its notorious turnover, who knows?
But she wasn't in.
After opening Outlook and reading through last Friday's email, I found out that she was on a motivational seminar all day today. Having psyched myself up for what I thought was the inevitable, I was now tasked to just go about my day, business as usual. Well, screw that, I thought. I made it to 2:00, then sneakily logged out and slickly walked out. On the drive away from the building, I called the "callout" line and left my message stating I'd left work early due to illness.
So now it came to this morning and when the alarm clock rang, I just didn't feel up to it. I'd spent the night squirming in bed fitfully and barely got an uninterrupted hour of sleep all night. I called out again.
Around 10:00am, a call came in. I recognized it as a Chase number. I didn't pick it up. After a voicemail message was left I listened to it. Of course, it was Laura stating she was concerned and that it was "imperative I call her back to discuss my employment with the company". When I called her an hour later and told her I felt bad that I was out sick due to my chronic diseases but expected to be back the next morning. She said she'd see me then and we'd have a chat.
A chat! WTF! Why not just do it right there and then?
So now I have to wake up early in the morning tomorrow and actually go into my job for what will surely be my last day there...right? I mean this "chat" should be an acronym for a Conversation Highlighted by Abrupt Termination...right? Arrrgh!
I swear, if they don't do it, then I'll really get back at them, the bastards...
I'll stay, dammit!
And we all know what a great asset I am to any organization.