I was due for a vacation. A real one. One where I actually went someplace different with fun things to do.
So I made the arrangements and soon I was packed up and headed down to Florida in my car.
The drive would be the longest distance I'd ever attempted. I'm not sure if I thought I could make it from Rhode Island to Florida non-stop but I found out that once I reached southern Virginia after 12 hours of driving, I was pooped. I chose a small town just over the border into North Carolina on Rt. 95 called Weldon as an overnight stop. This town would turn out to be a frequent midway overnight stop on 4 more pan-eastcoast car trips within the next 12 months or so.
I made it to my sister's mobile home in Vero Beach in the early evening of the second day of my trip. Cindy had made some spaghetti with Hunt's sauce. Jan came home from work a bit later and we stayed up and chatted for a while. I was tired from the drive so I went to the spare bedroom they prepped for me and fell fast asleep.
I woke up in the morning amazed at the sunshine, green grass, palm trees and warm breeze coming in through the open window. Just a day before, I was in cold, snowy and grey Rhode Island.
Unfortunately my pleasure was interrupted by a little tickle against my skin from under the covers. I pulled back the blanket to reveal my first discovery of a wayward, and enormous, palmetto bug. I jumped up and screamed. My sister and Jan chuckled at me after they saw it. "Welcome to Florida!", they laughed. Yes, as I would find out in the coming years, these encounters are not that uncommon.
With Cindy and Jan working, I drove up to Orlando and went on my first visit to Universal Studios. In these days it was just one park but I found it still daunting to do in one day.
Saturday was Cindy's birthday and we celebrated by picking up Bobby, Jan's son, going out to eat and later setting off fireworks in a vacant lot near the house. Later, after Bobby was returned to his father's, we three sat around and drank...diet sodas. Yes we were all recovering alcoholics but my sister confided in me that she and Jan sometimes took the edge off by doing a little coke here and there. I didn't say as much but I thought that was like trying to escape the frying pan by falling onto the fire.
The next day both Cindy and Jan had to work so I went out to find entertainment on my own. I went to the beach but it was dead being now only early March, and it was a bit cool for laying out, even for a northern boy like me.
I happened to see a sign advertising a rodeo so I made my way to the fairgrounds they were holding it and sure enough, it was a real live rodeo with bull riding cowboys and stands full of rednecks. What's more the beers were only a dollar each for a good 16 oz. cup! And I found they were lax to collect the $1 much of the time!
I had promised myself that I wouldn't drink while I was visiting with Jan and Cindy since I thought it would be disrespectful. They didn't know I was occasionally drinking again. They assumed I had, as I told them, been dry since '92. Well, for the most part that was true. It was just this past year I'd been slipping. Since shortly after my previous trip to Florida visiting the folks...and Sea World.
After a long, sunburned afternoon, and 12 beers, I was headed out of the rodeo but my buzzed head wanted more so I made my way to a TGI Fridays or something like that, had a few Sam Adams at the bar and then later found myself driving north on a dark, winding road near the seashore.
A car slowed quickly in front of me unexpectedly. Well, perhaps I was incorrectly speeding forward in a turn lane. No matter. I rammed into the back of a Camaro, causing some minor damage to its back bumper. But my little Metro suffered a big huge front-end dent and a buckled up hood. I got out and approached the other car but once they saw that I was undoubtedly drunk they starting shaking me down for money. I promised to give them a few hundred dollars, went back to my car saying it was in there but instead got in the driver's seat, quickly backed up, turned around and sped away. As I looked in my rear view mirror, I could see them shaking their fists at me.
But as the adrenaline rush of my great escape wore off, the alcohol was taking hold once again. I started passing out at the wheel. I was totally lost but kept thinking that if I could just go a bit further I'd see a recognisable landmark and find my way back to my sister's house. It turned out that instead, a local cop found me.
When I saw the lights and heard the siren behind me, I knew I was fucked. I knew I was very drunk and wouldn't likely be able to talk my way out of this. I only hoped he didn't find out about the hit and run I'd just committed.
Not to my surprise, I failed the field sobriety test and was arrested for DUI. I blew over a 2.0 at the station and was turned over to the county sheriffs. They took me to the Indian River County Jail.
I was printed, photographed, strip searched, showered, deloused and placed in an orange jumpsuit with matching orange plastic sandals. I was given my scratchy wool blanket, single white sheet, pillowcase, small toothbrush, toothpaste, bar of soap, plastic comb and jail rulebook. The C.O. escorted me to a cramped cell which already had four guys in it.
They grumbled loudly at having been woken in the wee hours of the morning and having to squeeze another inmate in. I slept on a plastic mattress laid out on the concrete floor near the toilet so as I tried to sleep off my hangover I had to endure guys pissing and shitting within inches of my head.
Oh what a joyous vacation!
The next morning after the plain grits and fatty sausages that passed for breakfast, I tried to reach my sister but only got her answering machine. I left the message that I was in jail and needed to be bailed out.
As the day wore on and I heard nothing I got more and more anxious. I called many other times but still only got the answering machine. (Unlike the movies, you don't have just one call, you can use the phone whenever you want, provided it's available. Otherwise you wait in line.)
I also called local bail bondsmen but being from out-of-state and having no collateral, they didn't want to touch me. One guy agreed to help me when I told him my sister owned a mobile home here in town. He finally got a hold of my sister when she came home from work and around 9:00pm after what seemed like an eternity, I was free.
After picking up my car from the impound lot the next morning I stayed with them for one more overnight but I left early the day after that since now my vacation budget was ruined as I was looking forward to the fines.
So with the sun just rising, I bid my goodbyes and arranged with them plans for a ride back here from Orlando airport in just four weeks for my court appearance.
So I made the arrangements and soon I was packed up and headed down to Florida in my car.
The drive would be the longest distance I'd ever attempted. I'm not sure if I thought I could make it from Rhode Island to Florida non-stop but I found out that once I reached southern Virginia after 12 hours of driving, I was pooped. I chose a small town just over the border into North Carolina on Rt. 95 called Weldon as an overnight stop. This town would turn out to be a frequent midway overnight stop on 4 more pan-eastcoast car trips within the next 12 months or so.
I made it to my sister's mobile home in Vero Beach in the early evening of the second day of my trip. Cindy had made some spaghetti with Hunt's sauce. Jan came home from work a bit later and we stayed up and chatted for a while. I was tired from the drive so I went to the spare bedroom they prepped for me and fell fast asleep.
I woke up in the morning amazed at the sunshine, green grass, palm trees and warm breeze coming in through the open window. Just a day before, I was in cold, snowy and grey Rhode Island.
Unfortunately my pleasure was interrupted by a little tickle against my skin from under the covers. I pulled back the blanket to reveal my first discovery of a wayward, and enormous, palmetto bug. I jumped up and screamed. My sister and Jan chuckled at me after they saw it. "Welcome to Florida!", they laughed. Yes, as I would find out in the coming years, these encounters are not that uncommon.
With Cindy and Jan working, I drove up to Orlando and went on my first visit to Universal Studios. In these days it was just one park but I found it still daunting to do in one day.
Saturday was Cindy's birthday and we celebrated by picking up Bobby, Jan's son, going out to eat and later setting off fireworks in a vacant lot near the house. Later, after Bobby was returned to his father's, we three sat around and drank...diet sodas. Yes we were all recovering alcoholics but my sister confided in me that she and Jan sometimes took the edge off by doing a little coke here and there. I didn't say as much but I thought that was like trying to escape the frying pan by falling onto the fire.
The next day both Cindy and Jan had to work so I went out to find entertainment on my own. I went to the beach but it was dead being now only early March, and it was a bit cool for laying out, even for a northern boy like me.
I happened to see a sign advertising a rodeo so I made my way to the fairgrounds they were holding it and sure enough, it was a real live rodeo with bull riding cowboys and stands full of rednecks. What's more the beers were only a dollar each for a good 16 oz. cup! And I found they were lax to collect the $1 much of the time!
I had promised myself that I wouldn't drink while I was visiting with Jan and Cindy since I thought it would be disrespectful. They didn't know I was occasionally drinking again. They assumed I had, as I told them, been dry since '92. Well, for the most part that was true. It was just this past year I'd been slipping. Since shortly after my previous trip to Florida visiting the folks...and Sea World.
After a long, sunburned afternoon, and 12 beers, I was headed out of the rodeo but my buzzed head wanted more so I made my way to a TGI Fridays or something like that, had a few Sam Adams at the bar and then later found myself driving north on a dark, winding road near the seashore.
A car slowed quickly in front of me unexpectedly. Well, perhaps I was incorrectly speeding forward in a turn lane. No matter. I rammed into the back of a Camaro, causing some minor damage to its back bumper. But my little Metro suffered a big huge front-end dent and a buckled up hood. I got out and approached the other car but once they saw that I was undoubtedly drunk they starting shaking me down for money. I promised to give them a few hundred dollars, went back to my car saying it was in there but instead got in the driver's seat, quickly backed up, turned around and sped away. As I looked in my rear view mirror, I could see them shaking their fists at me.
But as the adrenaline rush of my great escape wore off, the alcohol was taking hold once again. I started passing out at the wheel. I was totally lost but kept thinking that if I could just go a bit further I'd see a recognisable landmark and find my way back to my sister's house. It turned out that instead, a local cop found me.
When I saw the lights and heard the siren behind me, I knew I was fucked. I knew I was very drunk and wouldn't likely be able to talk my way out of this. I only hoped he didn't find out about the hit and run I'd just committed.
Not to my surprise, I failed the field sobriety test and was arrested for DUI. I blew over a 2.0 at the station and was turned over to the county sheriffs. They took me to the Indian River County Jail.
I was printed, photographed, strip searched, showered, deloused and placed in an orange jumpsuit with matching orange plastic sandals. I was given my scratchy wool blanket, single white sheet, pillowcase, small toothbrush, toothpaste, bar of soap, plastic comb and jail rulebook. The C.O. escorted me to a cramped cell which already had four guys in it.
They grumbled loudly at having been woken in the wee hours of the morning and having to squeeze another inmate in. I slept on a plastic mattress laid out on the concrete floor near the toilet so as I tried to sleep off my hangover I had to endure guys pissing and shitting within inches of my head.
Oh what a joyous vacation!
The next morning after the plain grits and fatty sausages that passed for breakfast, I tried to reach my sister but only got her answering machine. I left the message that I was in jail and needed to be bailed out.
As the day wore on and I heard nothing I got more and more anxious. I called many other times but still only got the answering machine. (Unlike the movies, you don't have just one call, you can use the phone whenever you want, provided it's available. Otherwise you wait in line.)
I also called local bail bondsmen but being from out-of-state and having no collateral, they didn't want to touch me. One guy agreed to help me when I told him my sister owned a mobile home here in town. He finally got a hold of my sister when she came home from work and around 9:00pm after what seemed like an eternity, I was free.
After picking up my car from the impound lot the next morning I stayed with them for one more overnight but I left early the day after that since now my vacation budget was ruined as I was looking forward to the fines.
So with the sun just rising, I bid my goodbyes and arranged with them plans for a ride back here from Orlando airport in just four weeks for my court appearance.