I was enjoying a relaxing Saturday afternoon at home playing on Mildred VIII when I got a call from the apartment complex's front gate. Jay was here. This was really odd since he didn't drive and I doubted he would have taken a bus from his house in the Orlovista section of town to my house in South Orlando. Only about 5 miles apart but not on an easy accessed connecting bus line. Once at my apartment, he explained that his friend J.T. drove him over. When I asked why J.T. hadn't come up, Jay said he had some place to be.
Jay seemed to be acting a little weird. He said he didn't want to go out anywhere, He just wanted to visit with me. I was cool with that but it was a bit unusual for Jay to be the type to just "hang out". He soon revealed what he was being weird about. He had brought a couple of rather large joints and asked if I wanted to get stoned. I usually don't smoke pot, preferring beer as my drug of choice, but lately Jay had really been ardently substituting his beer drinking with pot smoking and since he was sharing, well...
We sat in my living room passing the joint back and forth, shootin' the shit and stuff. Jay started getting silly and began to tickle me. I returned the horseplay but he seemed more into continuing the contact even after the silly moment had passed. He suggested we watch TV and as my only TV was in my bedroom we made our way in there. As I turned on the TV and prepared to sit at my computer desk chair, he took up the only other seating in the room, the edge of my bed.
Jay pulled out another bone and blazed it up. I was already too stoned for my taste, but he offered it up and I decided it was mellow enough shit and I wasn't feeling the usual paranoia or anti-social feelings I had sometimes with one too many hits of pot. He suggested we lie back together on the bed to make passing the joint easier. After a few tokes we were both very high and Jay again started his tickling. Suddenly, out of the blue, he asked if I had any gay porn videos. I admitted I did. He said he wanted to watch one of them.
This was getting really weird because I had always assumed Jay was straight and though he was fully aware of my orientation and was totally cool with it, he made no mention of being bi-curious or anything like that.
Oddly though, just a month earlier while he was over during the time Ric was living with me after having been thrown out by his boyfriend Gary, Jay had stormed out of my house while he was waiting for J.T. to come pick him up.
We had been smoking then too and I had gotten tired and passed out on my bed. Ric and Jay were talking in the living room and according to Ric's side of the story, they were talking about gay sex and Ric said Jay told him he had tried it before but felt pain when his partner tried to fuck him. Ric being such the sensitive guy he is joked to Jay, "So you like taking it up the ass, eh?" Jay got all offended and left even before his ride had gotten there.
I heard the door slam so I woke up and Ric told me the story. I went out to search for Jay but couldn't find him. Turns out he waited for J.T. by the gate and made it home okay. Later when I asked Jay about the incident, he said he didn't want to talk about it and we never spoke of it again.
So now Jay was here again, stoned, and wanting to lie back on my bed with me and watch gay porn. I obliged and popped a tape into the VCR. Within a few minutes I could see Jay staring intently at the screen, rubbing his crotch. I thought to myself at first, "Oh, he just needs to rub one out and he knows I wouldn't have straight porn. That's cool, mi casa su casa and all, dude."
But Jay then surprised me and rolled over, grabbed me and stared into my eyes. Without a word we leaned into each other, touched lips and engaged in one of the most powerful and passionate kisses I had ever experienced. Soon it moved to clothes-on frotage. I pulled Jay's shirt off and began to lick his nipples and moved my tongue-play down his torso to his waist. As he groaned in pleasure he pushed my head encouragingly toward his crotch and started to unbuckle his pants. He slid his pants and underwear towards his knees, I lowered my head towards his throbbing cock, and suddenly, I turned away.
It wasn't that I wasn't turned on by him. I had always thought Jay was cute and the pot buzz, the porno and his passionate kiss had me excited as well, but for some reason, it just felt wrong. I was getting all womanly-type feelings and felt this was cheap and too guttural for me. Plus, I knew it would change our friendship and would likely turn into something he'd feel funny about later, being straight and all.
Jay begged me to continue and started to attempt to pull off my pants as if to say, "Hey man, I'm not all selfish. I'll do you too." but for me the urge had passed. I told him "the right thing to say", that it wasn't him, it was just that I was really tired and too stoned. I was also truthful in telling him that I thought it would probably ruin our friendship.
He jumped up, pulled up his pants and went into the bathroom. He stayed in there for a good half hour or so. When he finally came out I told him I was sorry, but he said it was cool and he wasn't upset or anything. He called J.T. to come get him and said that even though he was okay with everything, he had a headache and wanted to go home. I told him understood.
The next day I went up to Beerbellies, the sports bar in Metrowest he hung out in every Sunday. He was there with J.T. and friends. When we had a moment alone, he apologized for his behavior and excused it to not having had a girlfriend in a while. He explained that he was glad it ended up as it did before it got too far since he didn't want me to feel like he was using me. There was honesty and simplicity in what he was saying so I knew it was true and I thanked him for it.
But before the others returned back to the table, he leaned towards me and whispered, "You know though, I have to admit, that was one HOT kiss." I agreed. We smiled at each other, giggled and never spoke about it again.
Jay seemed to be acting a little weird. He said he didn't want to go out anywhere, He just wanted to visit with me. I was cool with that but it was a bit unusual for Jay to be the type to just "hang out". He soon revealed what he was being weird about. He had brought a couple of rather large joints and asked if I wanted to get stoned. I usually don't smoke pot, preferring beer as my drug of choice, but lately Jay had really been ardently substituting his beer drinking with pot smoking and since he was sharing, well...
We sat in my living room passing the joint back and forth, shootin' the shit and stuff. Jay started getting silly and began to tickle me. I returned the horseplay but he seemed more into continuing the contact even after the silly moment had passed. He suggested we watch TV and as my only TV was in my bedroom we made our way in there. As I turned on the TV and prepared to sit at my computer desk chair, he took up the only other seating in the room, the edge of my bed.
Jay pulled out another bone and blazed it up. I was already too stoned for my taste, but he offered it up and I decided it was mellow enough shit and I wasn't feeling the usual paranoia or anti-social feelings I had sometimes with one too many hits of pot. He suggested we lie back together on the bed to make passing the joint easier. After a few tokes we were both very high and Jay again started his tickling. Suddenly, out of the blue, he asked if I had any gay porn videos. I admitted I did. He said he wanted to watch one of them.
This was getting really weird because I had always assumed Jay was straight and though he was fully aware of my orientation and was totally cool with it, he made no mention of being bi-curious or anything like that.
Oddly though, just a month earlier while he was over during the time Ric was living with me after having been thrown out by his boyfriend Gary, Jay had stormed out of my house while he was waiting for J.T. to come pick him up.
We had been smoking then too and I had gotten tired and passed out on my bed. Ric and Jay were talking in the living room and according to Ric's side of the story, they were talking about gay sex and Ric said Jay told him he had tried it before but felt pain when his partner tried to fuck him. Ric being such the sensitive guy he is joked to Jay, "So you like taking it up the ass, eh?" Jay got all offended and left even before his ride had gotten there.
I heard the door slam so I woke up and Ric told me the story. I went out to search for Jay but couldn't find him. Turns out he waited for J.T. by the gate and made it home okay. Later when I asked Jay about the incident, he said he didn't want to talk about it and we never spoke of it again.
So now Jay was here again, stoned, and wanting to lie back on my bed with me and watch gay porn. I obliged and popped a tape into the VCR. Within a few minutes I could see Jay staring intently at the screen, rubbing his crotch. I thought to myself at first, "Oh, he just needs to rub one out and he knows I wouldn't have straight porn. That's cool, mi casa su casa and all, dude."
But Jay then surprised me and rolled over, grabbed me and stared into my eyes. Without a word we leaned into each other, touched lips and engaged in one of the most powerful and passionate kisses I had ever experienced. Soon it moved to clothes-on frotage. I pulled Jay's shirt off and began to lick his nipples and moved my tongue-play down his torso to his waist. As he groaned in pleasure he pushed my head encouragingly toward his crotch and started to unbuckle his pants. He slid his pants and underwear towards his knees, I lowered my head towards his throbbing cock, and suddenly, I turned away.
It wasn't that I wasn't turned on by him. I had always thought Jay was cute and the pot buzz, the porno and his passionate kiss had me excited as well, but for some reason, it just felt wrong. I was getting all womanly-type feelings and felt this was cheap and too guttural for me. Plus, I knew it would change our friendship and would likely turn into something he'd feel funny about later, being straight and all.
Jay begged me to continue and started to attempt to pull off my pants as if to say, "Hey man, I'm not all selfish. I'll do you too." but for me the urge had passed. I told him "the right thing to say", that it wasn't him, it was just that I was really tired and too stoned. I was also truthful in telling him that I thought it would probably ruin our friendship.
He jumped up, pulled up his pants and went into the bathroom. He stayed in there for a good half hour or so. When he finally came out I told him I was sorry, but he said it was cool and he wasn't upset or anything. He called J.T. to come get him and said that even though he was okay with everything, he had a headache and wanted to go home. I told him understood.
The next day I went up to Beerbellies, the sports bar in Metrowest he hung out in every Sunday. He was there with J.T. and friends. When we had a moment alone, he apologized for his behavior and excused it to not having had a girlfriend in a while. He explained that he was glad it ended up as it did before it got too far since he didn't want me to feel like he was using me. There was honesty and simplicity in what he was saying so I knew it was true and I thanked him for it.
But before the others returned back to the table, he leaned towards me and whispered, "You know though, I have to admit, that was one HOT kiss." I agreed. We smiled at each other, giggled and never spoke about it again.