It was Super Bowl Sunday and Ric and I headed out to T.G.I. Friday's to enjoy the game with other loud drunks and plenty of beer.
Until I had notified him of it, Ric hadn't known of the existence of this Friday's restaurant in Lake Mary even though he'd lived right down the road for 5 months now. Truthfully, unless you were making your way across the Lake Mary Blvd. overpass over I-4, it wasn't really noticeable. Though it had visibility from Lake Mary Blvd., access was by way of a side street. Without a car, Ric would not have had any chance of driving down this way so it was understandable he hadn't noticed it. So when Ric discovered one of his favorite bar and grill chains right here, within walking distance of his apartment at Sun Lake, it became a new hangout quickly.
Our usual bartender Raoul let us know that they were having a Super Bowl party so here we were, ready to get down to some serious drinking and, for Ric, rooting for the Eagles.
But upon arriving that afternoon, the "party" looked like it was going to be a dud, so we graciously made our way out and walked the 2 or 3 blocks down LMB to Gator's Dockside, a traditional good ole boy sports bar.
I rooted for my New England Patriots and much to the chagrin of Ric, they won. He wasn't that upset though, he was by now plastered and "feelin' no pain". So was I for that matter.
We eventually began our walk back home to Sun Lake and as we passed a parked black Lexus SUV in the parking lot of Albertson's, I noticed the car had a George W. Bush '04 campaign sticker on it's back bumper. As I looked up through the back window, I noticed the driver of the car was seated in the driver's seat and eye-balling me through the rear-view mirror. She looked like a stuck up Republican bitch and when our eyes met each other in her rear-view mirror, it was like in "Kill Bill" when Uma Thurman's character made eye-contact with someone "on her list".
"Eeeeee! Owwwww! Eeeeee! Owwwww! Ta-da-da-da-da-da-DA!!!!"
I flipped her the bird and yelled out "Fuck You, Bitch!", just for the heck of it. I walked off with Ric and we were soon about to forget about her, laughing off the 3-seconds of my drunken Random Act of Unkindness, when she revved her engine and peeled out of her spot, turned her SUV sharply and made out as if she were going to run me down. I ran to the side and the crazy bitch turned towards me. I found a nearby shopping cart and as she sped by me in her faux rundown attempt, I pushed the cart hard, aiming just ahead of her to meet the anticipated trajectory and to my glee and her utter shock the cart connected beautifully, t-boning hard into her pretty Lexus, directly in her left side door. Surely it made a nice dent, but I didn't stick around to survey the damages, I started to run.
Lake a mad woman, she turned sharply around and now I felt that the game had been escalated to a real road rage car vs. pedestrian struggle. Ric had run as soon as he saw me push the cart. He was on probation for his DUI, he didn't want any further trouble with the law.
But trouble with the law was what I was looking at, I knew, if I stuck around. Yet although my adrenaline was pumping hard, my fitness level dictated that I slow to a jog, then a fast walk by the time I'd reached the other end of the parking lot, well before the exit onto Lake Emma Road some 100 yards away. I now painfully walked as fast as I could towards the exit on the sidewalk in front of the strip mall shops that make up the south side of the plaza, protected from the crazy lady's deadly SUV. She pulled up along side of me, powered down her window and indicated she was on her cell phone with the police right now. I yelled at her that she was a crazy bitch and I hit her car with the cart to defend myself, but I wasn't about to wait for the cops to tell them my side of the story.
I slipped out of the plaza a few feet before the entrance through a hole in the fence into what would be, unbeknownst to either Ric or me at the time, Ric's new home come May, Hidden Village Condos. I could see the flashing lights of approaching Seminole County Sheriffs' cruisers as I ducked into the backyards of these townhouses. There I hid for about 30 minutes in the bushes behind what appeared to be a vacant unit, watching the cruisers drive slowly through the streets of the complex, scanning around with their searchlights. I felt like I could almost hear the sound of wailing bloodhounds trying to sniff me out.
Once I felt the coast was clear, I carefully made my way towards Ric's apartment complex further down the road. I decided to hide my baseball cap under some bushes just in case there had been a description of my appearance put out in an APB to cops in the area.
("Be on the lookout - Tall, fat man in dark clothes and a white baseball cap. Be advised he tried to kill a fellow right-wing Bush-lovin' Republican with a deadly shopping cart. Shoot on site!")
All in all, I got home to Ric's a few minutes later and he seemed glad I hadn't been caught. We had a few weeks of humorous "war stories" to tell our bar buddies for a while.
BTW, I would forget about the hidden hat until many months later when to my happy surprise, I was able to find it still relatively clean and intact.
Until I had notified him of it, Ric hadn't known of the existence of this Friday's restaurant in Lake Mary even though he'd lived right down the road for 5 months now. Truthfully, unless you were making your way across the Lake Mary Blvd. overpass over I-4, it wasn't really noticeable. Though it had visibility from Lake Mary Blvd., access was by way of a side street. Without a car, Ric would not have had any chance of driving down this way so it was understandable he hadn't noticed it. So when Ric discovered one of his favorite bar and grill chains right here, within walking distance of his apartment at Sun Lake, it became a new hangout quickly.
Our usual bartender Raoul let us know that they were having a Super Bowl party so here we were, ready to get down to some serious drinking and, for Ric, rooting for the Eagles.
But upon arriving that afternoon, the "party" looked like it was going to be a dud, so we graciously made our way out and walked the 2 or 3 blocks down LMB to Gator's Dockside, a traditional good ole boy sports bar.
I rooted for my New England Patriots and much to the chagrin of Ric, they won. He wasn't that upset though, he was by now plastered and "feelin' no pain". So was I for that matter.
We eventually began our walk back home to Sun Lake and as we passed a parked black Lexus SUV in the parking lot of Albertson's, I noticed the car had a George W. Bush '04 campaign sticker on it's back bumper. As I looked up through the back window, I noticed the driver of the car was seated in the driver's seat and eye-balling me through the rear-view mirror. She looked like a stuck up Republican bitch and when our eyes met each other in her rear-view mirror, it was like in "Kill Bill" when Uma Thurman's character made eye-contact with someone "on her list".
"Eeeeee! Owwwww! Eeeeee! Owwwww! Ta-da-da-da-da-da-DA!!!!"
I flipped her the bird and yelled out "Fuck You, Bitch!", just for the heck of it. I walked off with Ric and we were soon about to forget about her, laughing off the 3-seconds of my drunken Random Act of Unkindness, when she revved her engine and peeled out of her spot, turned her SUV sharply and made out as if she were going to run me down. I ran to the side and the crazy bitch turned towards me. I found a nearby shopping cart and as she sped by me in her faux rundown attempt, I pushed the cart hard, aiming just ahead of her to meet the anticipated trajectory and to my glee and her utter shock the cart connected beautifully, t-boning hard into her pretty Lexus, directly in her left side door. Surely it made a nice dent, but I didn't stick around to survey the damages, I started to run.
Lake a mad woman, she turned sharply around and now I felt that the game had been escalated to a real road rage car vs. pedestrian struggle. Ric had run as soon as he saw me push the cart. He was on probation for his DUI, he didn't want any further trouble with the law.
But trouble with the law was what I was looking at, I knew, if I stuck around. Yet although my adrenaline was pumping hard, my fitness level dictated that I slow to a jog, then a fast walk by the time I'd reached the other end of the parking lot, well before the exit onto Lake Emma Road some 100 yards away. I now painfully walked as fast as I could towards the exit on the sidewalk in front of the strip mall shops that make up the south side of the plaza, protected from the crazy lady's deadly SUV. She pulled up along side of me, powered down her window and indicated she was on her cell phone with the police right now. I yelled at her that she was a crazy bitch and I hit her car with the cart to defend myself, but I wasn't about to wait for the cops to tell them my side of the story.
I slipped out of the plaza a few feet before the entrance through a hole in the fence into what would be, unbeknownst to either Ric or me at the time, Ric's new home come May, Hidden Village Condos. I could see the flashing lights of approaching Seminole County Sheriffs' cruisers as I ducked into the backyards of these townhouses. There I hid for about 30 minutes in the bushes behind what appeared to be a vacant unit, watching the cruisers drive slowly through the streets of the complex, scanning around with their searchlights. I felt like I could almost hear the sound of wailing bloodhounds trying to sniff me out.
Once I felt the coast was clear, I carefully made my way towards Ric's apartment complex further down the road. I decided to hide my baseball cap under some bushes just in case there had been a description of my appearance put out in an APB to cops in the area.
("Be on the lookout - Tall, fat man in dark clothes and a white baseball cap. Be advised he tried to kill a fellow right-wing Bush-lovin' Republican with a deadly shopping cart. Shoot on site!")
All in all, I got home to Ric's a few minutes later and he seemed glad I hadn't been caught. We had a few weeks of humorous "war stories" to tell our bar buddies for a while.
BTW, I would forget about the hidden hat until many months later when to my happy surprise, I was able to find it still relatively clean and intact.