Yes, folks, it's that time again. Time to sum up each of my more interesting co-workers and rip them apart mercilessly for my own sick amusement, this time at my new company, so a whole new cast of characters. Ready?Brittany - With no real prior experience in the field, I have no idea how she got hired other than the fact some middle-aged men, like our boss Rick, might find her 20-year-old petite body and perky breasts very easy on the eyes. Or maybe the "casting couch" during the interview? Hmmm? She isn't gonna make it though. She seems to have only cotton candy stuffed between her ears.
Denise - The other newbie of our Class of 3 that started together on January 5. Denise is about my age, and seems pretty together and with it. But this is a roast. I can't just leave it at that...oh yeah...she loves Jesus. Yup, she's a born-again, Republican, Bush-lovin' Christian, who prays at each meal and wishes everyone on Earth were as enlightened as her. Since they aren't, she finds fault with everyone. And has no problem expressing herself as a moral beacon to set one's standards to, ala the Church Lady. Isn't that special!
Natalia - Hey man, let's all take a trip. A trip back to the swingin' '70s, Baby! ? Natalia is one groovy black chick who loves Andy Warhol, Bob Mackie, Disco Divas and fondue parties. She wears tie-die and a necklace featuring a 45-RPM turntable spindle. Only us oldies in the crowd could identify what that pendant was. But, get this, she must be proof of reincarnation since she's only 26. This would be the equivalent phenomena if I had been an Elvis and Bill Haley fan when I was her age. Most unusual. But hey, we dig her, since she's so cool, man! Peace!
Margie - She's in the cube across from me, much like the evil Ross was in the early days of Symantec, but listening to her cracks me up. Margie is way too sensitive to the various moods and issues that customers carry. She gets wrapped up in their personal stories, and some calls last hours since she is so sympathetic to them. I've heard her crying because they tell her about their personal woes. Man, this is the epitome of getting too involved. Yes, they want us to sound empathetic and concerned, Margie, but you will not last if you take it all personally like you do. Sounding concerned is way different than being concerned. Don't BE concerned. It will wear you down, girl. Time will harden you, grasshopper.
Kathy - Sitting directly across the aisle from me, I can turn 180 degrees and there she is, sitting quietly in her cube, perhaps listening to everything I, or anyone around, says. This older (late 50's) woman seems like she might be my new Marilyn. Why? I can't put my finger on it. She's been with the company since perhaps the days of rotary phones and manual switchboards. I don't know for sure but she's got the sweetest set up ever. She works 4 days a week, 10 hour days, and she's a Tech Lead Tier 2 VM Tech Support Lead Coach/Supervisor. Actually that's an amalgam of the various different titles for her position but things are in such transition for this company, that long complex title, while not technically accurate, suffices as a general ID of what one in her position is...the top level before actual management. Because of this status, she's placed only in an advanced queue which barely receives calls. And, when they do get calls, they are usually assistance requests from Tier I agents, so customer interaction is near nothing. Like an average of about 3 to 6 calls per day! For a 10 hour shift! Oh brother! But her demeanor seems like she thinks she knows it all. And her cubicle crammed with angel dolls, needlework framed prayers and a crochet cross reek Jesus Lover Ultra Supreme! I'm watching out for this one, for sure.
Oh, there are plenty more, but this should suffice for now. American Idol is on and I have to watch Simon do his own ripping apart of people based on superficial impressions.
Oh my, one of the contestants is daring to try to sing a Whitney Houston song. Oh this should be a lovely Simon thrashing for sure!!