Ross Mathews' vlog entries, which he calls Talky Blogs are uploaded on a regular basis to his NBC-sponsored "Ross Blog". Since they are just "slice-of-life" web-cam style video entries and usually quite unscripted and impromptu, they vary between the "just okay" to "downright hilarious". This one definitely falls into the latter and is probably one of his best.
It features Ross talking to the camera (to us, his "Blog Buddies") wondering how he will react if he gets to meet one of his dream idols, Liza Minelli, at a fellow video blogger/friend Sam Harris' baby shower.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the video:
Ross: You can't hear my scream because it's so high-pitched, only Louise [Ross' dog] can hear it.
Ross silently mimics a scream pose.
Louise: (off camera, coincidentally, as if on cue, barks)
Ross: (to Louise) I know!
Ross: (to Louise, now in his lap) Can you say Liza? Liza! Can you say Liza?
Louise: (double bark)
Ross: (to camera) Yeah. She said Li-za...
Louise: (jumps off lap and continues to bark)
Ross: Minelliiii.... She's saying, Minelliiiii....
Ross: If I meet Liza, how do I introduce myself? How do I introduce myself to Liza Freakin' Minelli? So I've been practicing. A lot!
Ross: (to camera, as if we were Liza) Hey Liza! What's up? (chortles and salutes in mock-dweeby fashion then makes a worried face) I gotta do more practice.
A video clip montage ensues. It's backed by a recording of Liza singing "Liza With A Z" as theme music and shows Ross in various locations throughout his apartment as he's pretending to greet Liza in a variety of zany and sometimes humorously-disturbing ways.
Later...
As Ross picks up fellow party-goer and friend the renowned comedian Ant, he introduces Ant to "Big Red" the bright red rental car he is using while "Judy" his Toyota Prius is being worked on at the body shop. (BTW, Judy is not named for Liza's mom, as you might think, it's named for cartoon character Judy Jetson as a nod to, according to Ross, the Prius' futuristic styling.)
Ant: (looking around at the car as he gets in) Is this a Camaro?
Ross: No it's a Mustang. And it's a convertible but I put the top up because you wear a wig.
Ant: (to camera) I wear a wig.
Ross: (to camera) True story.
Ross talks to Ant and reveals that he is nervous about the fact that he might get to meet Liza if she is there. Ant assures him that she is. As the clock is ticking, Ross realizes they have to get going.
Ross: (to car) Big Red! Big Red, take us to Liza! Big Red!
Ant: This is a heterosexual car. The car is going, "Liza? How do you spell that?" If this were a Miata, it would have a pre-programmed button: "Take Us To Liza".
Later, still in the car but "mere moments" from the party, Ant notices Ross' outfit.
Ant: Why are you wearing that shirt? Are you feeling fat?
Ross is wearing a loud, flowery shirt; the kind of shirt that harkens back to the days when Ross was 50 pounds heavier.
Ross: I wanted her to notice me.
Ant makes a face like "yeah like you need that" since, as we all know, Ross is quite flamboyant even without a flashy shirt.
Ant: She was gonna notice you no matter what.
Ross: (laughing) That is so sweet, thank you.
Ant: People on Mars have noticed you.
After the baby shower, Ant and Ross are back in the car. Liza wasn't there. Ross is looking rather sad.
Ant: Are you gonna be depressed like, all week?
Ross: (not convincingly) I'm okay.
Ant: What about if I put on a wig and lipstick...I could do a good Liza.
Ross: (looking at Ant's head) Can you turn your wig around? And brush it forward?
Ant rolls his eyes and says he'll do it, but never (at least on camera) does. Later, Ross asks Ant if he knows what this now means...
Ross: (into camera) Liza, you listen here. The hunt's just getting started.
Ant: Oh God, your gonna stalk Liza Minelli! (now into camera) The next time we tune into a Ross Blog it'll be behind bars.
Ross: I would do it just to be able to see Liza's performance at the trial.
Ant: They don't show up [at the trial in a stalking case]...
Ross: Oh I would insist! I would insist!
Ant: (pretending to be an attorney at this trial) Your Honor, I declare a mistrial!
Ross: (into camera, breaking into cheesy Ethel Merman-esque singing) MIS-TRI-AL!
Ant: (hand-signing into camera as if a director) Scene.