FLASHBACK: January 1993

"Crazy ... I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely
I'm crazy ... crazy for feelin' so blue"
Crazy - Patsy Cline

Can you say "crazy"? That's what we were. On vacation in Montreal during a severe cold snap. (Well what else would you expect for Canada in the middle of winter...duh!)

But this?! Nighttime low temp (Fahrenheit) = 40 degrees below zero! (probably wind chill factor...but still!)

How'd I come to be in this frozen wasteland?

During the Holiday season, Wayne and I hosted at least 2 dinner parties for his friends Chris and David. I found them a bit boring and other than us all being gay, I don't know that we shared many interests.

My primary interests at this time were:

1. My commitment to an alcohol-free life
2. My Jane Fonda stepper and low-fat healthy eating to maintain my weight (~175)
3. My newly-acquired used computer (386sx)

(Boy how things have changed, huh!)

Chris and David's interests:

1. Their maintenance of civility to each other (They reminded me of the cartoon chipmunks Chip and Dale...."After you....No, after you...Oh but I insist, after you...Oh, I wouldn't hear of it, after you..." BLAM!!!! (That's me taking a shotgun to their little fuckin' over-polite furry heads, dammit!))
2. Their Gay Pride! (We're Here, We're Queer...Get Used To It!!) ...yeah, those types...yawn...
3. Their politically-correct attitude about everything.

I think they were big into MCC Church as well...you know, the New Age Gay Non-Denominational, Quasi-Christian ('cause it's so liberal, you don't HAVE to believe in Jesus if you don't want to) "church".

That's right they were... I remember now...we once had a "discussion" about religion. I think they were trying to convert me from my atheism. I posed the questions about Christianity I knew they would have "excuses" for (as so many do), like the question about the existence of Hell and who goes there after death, the God of the Old Testament (which most Christians don't want to talk about) and all His demands of obedience, plagues, fire and brimstone, playing that fun trick on Abraham telling him to sacrifice his own child, then just as Abraham has his son sprawled out on the altar, knife poised to plunge, God is all like: "Um, er, nevermind...I was testing you!"...ah...Good Times!

"Oh, we don't believe in any of that. God is all about Love and Caring!", they practically chanted together with a glazed look in their eyes, as a rainbow shone down around them and doves fluttered up to the sky.

Yeah...Like I'd love to "pick and choose" from other tales to conform to my own sense of what's right as well...

Like I would love to believe that Spock didn't die from radiation poisioning only to be "reborn" on a newly-formed planet as a result of the mysterious effects of the Genesis device.
But I can't deny it. It's canon. Cheap and absurd, yes. But it was in the films, so it happened. I must get over it.

Anyway, we decided we should go on a trip together. Kinda like 2 couples (though Wayne and I weren't a couple, we did appear as if we were).

Who chose Montreal? Beats me. But I may have. We needed something inexpensive to get to. This fit the bill...only an 8 hour drive from Rhode Island. I also had recently been to Montreal in 1990 and loved it. (Though it was September...big climate difference!)

We wanted to economize as much as possible, so I suggested we call motel chains like Motel 6 or Red Roof Inn and stuff. Oh my! David and Chris actually called me homophobic because I wanted to stay at a "straight" motel, not a gay-owned or at least gay-friendly accommodation! Um, the "gay" hotels were twice as expensive...and to me, I didn't see the big issue. Who cares who owns the hotel. As long as it's clean, got basic amenities and is conveniently located, who cares.

Well, they won out and we stayed in the heart of the gay ghetto, Ste. Catherine. But, because we were on a budget, it was the cheapest priced gay hotel in the area, which was still pricey, and, it was what David and Chris would call "quaint", but what I would call "old and a little worn out". We could have gotten a really nice, newly-constructed executive suite for this price if it were "straight".

This choice of hotel really impacted us too, cause with the temperature this low, the old heating (radiators! LOL) just wasn't keeping up. Thankfully the beds had huge down comforters. We needed them!

Because of the weather, even during the day it was well below zero, so we had to do all indoor things. We went to the Underground City. BFD! It's a mall. Only difference from any other mall was that it was underground and right off the subway stops. Whoop-tee-doo!

One nice spot we visited was the Biodome. This indoor zoo was housed in the former 1972 Olympic stadium. It had various climates of the world and the flora and fauna of each biome represented. Best of all, when you were in the tropical biome...it felt like it. Um, warmth!

Towards the later part of our stay, the frigid snap eased up a bit and it got to where we could go out and not become an instant popsicle. We hit the gay clubs on Ste. Catherine and I was blown away by the unbelievably hot Montreal boys. Now I realized why the weather was so cold...these guys held all the heat!

All in all, we had a good time. I remember on the drive home, just as we were heading south through Northern Vermont, a commercial came on the radio for New England Telephone. Their ad campaign, for both TV and radio in the early 90's was all about evoking sentimentality and pride in our region. It painted the emotional picture of New England's natural wonders and it's Yankee values and all. You know, one of those abstract commercials that talked nothing about the product or service they were selling, but tried to tug at the heart strings to get you to pay attention to the commercial. It worked for me. I sat there looking out the windshield of Wayne's Grand Marquis at the snow-covered rolling countryside with a little tear in my eye. It's fun to travel and see new places, but it's always nice to come back home.