FLASHBACK: Fall 1997

I met him online in a Male-for-Male forum on AOL. AOL was a lot more liberal back then and though there may be restrictions on it now, the Gay and Lesbian Forum back then had plenty of opprortunity to view bios and pictures of potential Mr. Right's or Mr. Right-Now's.

I was no stranger to hooking up with fuck buddies over the "Information Superhighway" as was the moniker in the early days.

I first found "satisfaction" in an on-line BBS, dialed up with an ancient 2400 Baud Modem in 1993 to a site headquartered in Iowa (of all gay places!) called Modem Men BBS. This cost a subscription price which is probably equivalent (not accounting for inflation) to the common porn sites today of the median $25-$35 per month range. PLUS!, back then, before the widespread availability of the Internet and local dial-up ISP numbers, there was the long distance costs which applied by calling the BBS line in their local area code. I lived in Rhode Island and called Iowa. Long Distance. Very Expensive. I remember $80-$100 long distance charges per month, back then!!!!

His name was Justin and from the IM and email conversations we had after I responded to his modest personal post on the MTM Forum on AOL, we were quite a match.

Intellectually he could keep pace with every ever increasingly difficult query I posed to him. For the bright people of the world, this is not a test as such but a mating ritual, to be sure there was indeed compatibility.

He had a huge Great Dane named Buckminster Fuller-Beans. When I was easily able to determine the inspiration for the name as the noted engineer Buckminster Fuller, designer of the Geodesic Dome, he seemed quite surprised as noone before had surmised this.


When I finally met Justin in Septmeber of 1997, I felt he was "The One". And, perhaps, at the time, he felt as well. We moved ahead in relation terms VERY quickly. Over he next 2 weeks I would go to work in the morning and immediately return to Justin's apartment in Lake Mary in the afternoon. We would watch a VCR movie or 2, get amourous, fuck, then fall asleep. This was the same pattern for the full 2 week period. We rarely went out together, usually only a foray to the area fast food restaurants in his town of Lake Mary (now, ironically, my home town).

Justin was the quintessential twink. Blond, very young, very smooth, and swimmers build. But what I didn't realise when we first hooked up was his penchant for the Trinity of Relationship-Killers in the gay community:
1. Drag Queens: He so much wanted to be one but he was no-where near Central Florida Club standard so he was ostricized and becaus of it was "A Bitter Queen"!
2. Club Culture: he was just starting (at the tender age of 23) to experience the dangers of the club scene: aloof, bitch queen-hag aquantences, bad sexual encounters, exposure to copious amounts of drugs, and an overall perversion that the gay lifestyle was only about physical experience.
3. "Adonis-Perfect" Imaginering: Justin loved the fact that I had a good build, had dark hair and green eyes, and especially marvelled at my big dick! But he also wanted my personality to fit into his Mind's-Eye image of his perfect mate. My frank, sometimes too abrasive and ascerbic attitude, at times very focused on and verbal comments about what i may percive as right or wrong...for whatever audience may be, may have confliced with his ideal mate's views.

We travelled to his family's homestead in Ocala and entered the empty main-house of the plantation-style dwelling of his ancestors. He got really weird and pulled a chiffon dress out of the closet and put it on and wanted me to fuck him in it. Not my style at all so I didn't partake!

He was able to convince his roommate to lend him his small pick up truck in late September to allow me to transport my big apatment possessions from Orlando to Altamonte Springs. (I couldn't affort to keep up rent in my one bedroom apartment in South Orlando so I went to the GLCS (Gay and Lesbian Community Services) and found a compatible rooomate situation in Altamonte Springs...15 miles north of where I was living but only 7 miles from Justin's house, and 5 miles from work.)

During the transit, as I was driving the truck (since it was standard and Justin only knew automatic), my mattress flewoff the back of the truck in the wind and I had to circle around to retrieve it, though Justin was in the back of the truck assigned to keep the mattress stable. Needless to say I was not a happy camper and as we drove down the final stretch of road towards my new home in Altamonte, I barked at Justin because I saw the mattress was coming loose again.

Justin later commented on how hurt he was by my attitude toward him. He felt I was too violent-sounding.

Justin broke up with me on his birthday, October 3, 1997.

We stayed in touch over the next few months and occassionally went out to Southern Nights (our favorite Orlando gay club) for a while but after a failed reunion attempt on our part which involved coke-snorting and a near-four-way orgy, Justin called a halt to any resumption of our affair and I carried out my plan to move back to the security and sanity of Rhode Island.

In late January 1998, I left Florida with all my worldly possessions to return to my home state of Rhode Island.

The result was, of course, failure, and I'll highlight more in future FLASHBACKs.

But, to get back to the topic at hand, I saw Justin after I returned to Florida in March 1998, but our interaction wasn't long. I sucked face with one of his friends as he looked on in glee at Southern Nights.

When I returned the next week, I saw hide 'nor hair of him and his friends.

I've never seen him since.