Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Day 5....SCREECH!

That's right! Pull that stylus off the record. We're not gonna treat this Phen-aided "initiative" like the other ones.* I'll let you know when it's all said and done how I did with my weight loss goals when I'm good and ready.

But for now...I need to rant!

*(BTW, just to break my own rule a little bit here, the count is now at 4 pounds lost.)

I may be getting too paranoid here, but, at my workplace, that's actually the norm, not the exception. Unfortunately I'm talking about between staff members, not including the residents. I feel like I'm being targeted.

Charmaine popped in unexpectedly this morning before 6:00 am and asked me to come into her office. She asked me about the accusation a new team member had that paints me as a dismissive and rude coworker. Once again, I'm having to defend myself against this shit!

In truth, the coworker in question was a temporary fill-in on the nightshift and, seeing she was having difficulty staying alert and awake since she wasn't used to staying up and working all night, I let her know that most of the tasks assigned to us are a little complicated to initially learn and I'd cut her a break and just do them myself since it'd be easier than having to train her how to do them. I thought I was doing a favor for her. Basically, I was saying..."I know you're just helping out and filling in so you might be tired. No problem. I can do everything myself. You can just relax."

But maybe she perceived this as dismissive of her abilities or me being lazy, not wanting to teach her things...I don't know. You think you're doing someone a wink-wink-nod-nod favor and they take it the wrong way. Cognitive dissonance? Inter-cultural miscommunication? Wait a minute, what race was this staff member? Yup. You know it. Black.

Again, let me defend my apparent racism. It's not that I'm condescending to her or projecting the impression that because she's black she wouldn't be able to be trained effectively...it's her thinking that I'm thinking that and that she both wants to join the rumor mill-initiated Anti-Michael Gang for street cred as well as pounce on an opportunity to make a white devil entitled prick pay for his peoples' sins.

A white chick or guy being told by me they could chill and get paid to sit on their ass and watch YouTube all night would think it sweet. And, to clarify this position, if I were a black dude and told a black chick or dude to chill and do nothing, they'd be all for it. But because I'm white, they think I'm trying to trick them into getting caught doing something they shouldn't. Or, perhaps to supply myself with some kind of leverage in a blackmail situation in the future. Either way, they think I shouldn't be trusted.

It all comes down to trust.

Is Charmaine able to discern these delicate aspects of inter-staff behavior? Is she able to put aside any potential anti-white feelings she may herself harbor? Is she even intelligent enough to know that one plus one equals two? I don't know. My gut says she's a total tool and is as dumb as bug so trying to predict an outcome on intellectual probabilities might be challenging.

With her obviously inferior skillset, witchy-twitchy roaming eyeball and her faux-Pollyanna affect, she may well opt to get rid of a smart, observant and boisterous employee like me who might expose her for the sham she really is.

If so....well, I'll keep you posted.

No comments: