Thursday, May 24, 2012

En Passant


One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a [he]
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
"One Night In Bangkok"(modified) - Chess


The other night I was driving to work, sleep sand still in the corner of my eyes, and I was in an quixotic mood thinking of all the eminent possibilities coming up in my life. I watched as the night sky was intermittently illuminated by silent heat lightning flashes and felt the airborne negative ions that seem to attract positive thought patterns.

The world was my oyster!

Then some asshole honked their horn to get me moving since the light had turned green and I was suddenly back...

Back to reality.

It ain't bad really. Things right now are very stable and I feel content enough.

Food gets in my belly very regularly. Great food too. (But maybe too much!)

My home and health are doing well.

But my heart?

No, not the medical function of my heart, that's been okay, but I mean the feelings from the heart...

Something's missing.

I've been thinking a lot about the choices I've made over the course of my life to get me to where I am today. Many forks in the road. Many choices...one way or the other. And these have impacted, for good or bad, the next set of choices. And so on, and so on...

I don't have to tell you. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. We've all been there.

So I'm plodding through a bit of a melancholy phase.

Prying open each oyster I find.

Solemnly searching for that one perfect pearl.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

TIME Magazine's Father's Day Cover


You thought this week's controversial Mother's Day cover of TIME magazine was eye-catching, and conversation-sparking enough? A fully grown toddler sucking on his mommy's teet?

That's nothing!

Here's what TIME has in store for Father's Day...

The Arabic coming of age ritual of Jelqing. Teaching one's pre-pubescent male offspring how to maximize sexual pleasure through penile stimulation.

I'm not kidding! This is a real ritual in the Arabic community!

In one of the most homophobic cultures on Earth, it is apparently "okay" to rub your 13-year old son's penis and teach him how to come.

And this is taught by his father. Personally. Hands on.

No text books. No neutral location.

Right in the child's bed. His father lays with him and gives him a fucking handjob!

So Happy Father's Day! Are you milking your kid's little pee-pee?

Well, "Are You Dad Enough?"

Mr. 300 Is Lurking Around The Corner Again

Looking back at the past two "YUMMY!" posts, I guess it's no real surprise that I'm staring at ol' Mr. 300 again.

It seems that ever since the Las Vegas trip I've been steadily increasing my consumption of food and drinks. And this is now starting to jeopardize my status as a person weighing less than 300 pounds.

Right now I'm at 295, up from a month ago when I was about 290 and around two months ago when I started my climb back from 288. True, not massive increases but I know my body and I know this is the trend towards a total regain of my all-time high somewhere in the 320's...if I'm not careful.

All the old symptoms are creeping back. Ravenous hunger and thirst, a need for caffeine to fight fatigue, lethargy, apathy, aches and pain, sore shoulders (from side-sleeping) and a straining belt. I just generally feel fatter again, and, imagined or not, it seems I look much heavier in the mirror.

Why this retreat in my battle of the bulge? Why now after almost a year of maintaining in the 280's?

I hypothesize two potential reasons:

First is simply the fact that all I've done in the past 9 or 10 months is maintain. I lost a chunk of weight shortly after I went back on the wagon last summer for a while and was able to keep it off and drop a bit more until I was comfortably below 300 for the first time in years. But maintenance is harder when you go back to drinking again and eventually give up exercise again which eventually leads to eating bad foods again.

I've been behaving badly for months now and I'm just starting to see the sad results on the scale.

Secondly I think I've upped the ante as of late to perhaps inspire me to get back on track, and then some, by getting on a real weight loss program of intensive diet and exercise. Sounds counter-intuitive to make yourself gain weight in order to eventually put forth hard effort to lose it, but I'm a counter-intuitive kinda guy a lot of times.

I should go ahead and "just do it"! Really crack down on this weight. It'd be an appropriate time...

Twenty years ago this week I started a diet and exercise routine that reshaped my body, mind and spirit for years afterwards.

Ah, the summer of '92.

What a feeling! In just three months I went from 250 to 185 and by fall of that year I was a skinny 175.

And I stayed in the 180's, the ideal weight range for my height, for many years after that.

It seems like another life now.

Hmm, maybe after my days off, later this week.

I mean, after all, I do have 2 DiGiorno's pizzas in the freezer and some Longhammmer IPAs with my name on them...

Oh, I'm just hopeless.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

YUMMY!: Roasted Chicken Thighs And Coleslaw

click pic for close-up

I roasted some chicken thighs that were coated with lemon juice, hot sauce, Tuscan dressing, Zatarain's seasoning and fresh rosemary.

Paired with homemade coleslaw using rough-chopped green cabbage, Vidalia onion and dill pickles in a vinegar, mayo and aspartame dressing.

Friday, May 04, 2012

Shut Up Little Man!

Oh the gems one can find when browsing aimlessly on Netflix for something to stream...

I found a curious little documentary detailing the creation of what was probably one of the first modern-era viral memes perpetuated through what today seems like absolutely arcane technology.

Back in the late eighties, a couple of youthful dreamers moved out to San Francisco from the farmlands of Wisconsin to forge their path in the world. Perhaps they were hoping to make it big in the music industry, I don't know. The film doesn't go into their motives.

Instead, the movie focuses its attention on the fact that since they had little seed money and no jobs, they were forced to live in the low-rent district in an apartment of dubious decor which happened to be situated next door to perhaps the worst neighbors imaginable.

These neighbors, old drunks who had no occupation except the business of getting fucked up on cheap liquor and to scream such vile things at one another all through the live long night. For all to hear.

And hear the two young new neighbors did, but that's not all...they decided to record it. Some sixty hours over the course of a couple of years. And the cassette tapes they made purportedly to riff on, found their way into the subculture of audiophiles who had a fetish for trading cassette tapes through a niche network of tape traders.

This was pre-internet, pre-YouTube, pre-social networking, pre-reality TV.

It was a harbinger of what was to come.

These audio-only tapes eventually spread like wildfire and by the early nineties many followers of the peculiar art of audio verite, which included not only surreptitious recorded "conversations" as in these "Little Man" tapes but also stuff like recorded prank or crank calls, created, mainly by simple word-of-mouth, a cult of dedicated followers.

I personally hadn't heard of this until this documentary but I kinda wish I had. It's the kinda stuff that reminds me, and would have been a fore tale of, so much in my life.

My parents were very much like the subjects of these recordings. Especially during their "rough years" of adjusting to an unwelcome life of regret and undesired commitments. Perhaps to each other, but certainly in regards to their children. I'm sure of that.

It's also quite similar to the dysfunctional dynamics of Ric and my friendship over the years. How many posts have I blogged here regarding our arguments, especially when fuel by alcohol?

Curious? Want to hear the piss drunk hateful vitriol between two washed up losers coming through loud but no so clear on your speakers?

Here's a little cartoon put up on YouTube done using audio of the poisonous tapes.

Be forewarned though. Cover the ears of little ones, the language is definitely NOT G-Rated.