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| "I'm gonna make you my bitch!" |
And in all these years, spending all those dollars, many times in ways I felt were deplorable, I quietly glazed over my own personal responsibility thinking that surely, in such a vast system as is our nation's that I'd be but a gnat, easily overlooked and forgot about. And so it's been, for years - nay - decades...until this past week.
I filed electronically this year for the first time ever. Methinks that may have been the stimulus to get the ball rolling. Why else would the enormous gorgon of the IRS be concerned with my meager ducats?
Well, concerned they are. I got a notice that looked like it had been part of a long series of bills that had been mailed to me, well, to the Lake Mary address I guess. The latest one explained why my $31 refund for this tax year was not being deposited into my checking account. It would be used to pay back a portion of the almost $700 the IRS says I owe them from the 2009 tax year.
Flabbergasted, I looked through my haphazardly kept records and fortunately I found a copy of that year's return. In fact, it showed I filed and factored in a refund of just over $600 which MS Money records I did receive. Along with a $400 stimulus bonus everyone else got. But the "wages earned" line did look a little low...only $12,000 or so. Uh oh, did I do my taxes when I was drunk and frivolously omitted items in order to perk up a return? It wouldn't have been the first time.
Sure enough, after speaking with an IRS rep on the phone for 45 minutes and then having a copy of the original bill with the IRS figured corrections for my 2009 tax form re-mailed to my current address, it does appear I "forgot" to include some $8000 in extra taxable income for which there was very little (if any) withholding.
What's more, now that the proverbial cat was out of the bag on my account in the IRS computer system, the rep exclaimed to me, somewhat alarmingly, that she showed I had not filed for the tax years 2005, 2006 and 2007. (I thought she'd keep rattling on since I know it's far longer than just those three years...guess their computer has only scratched the surface.)
I re-completed my 1040EZs for those years today, with the help of the pertinent W-2 information they mailed to me and, well, I can clearly see why I didn't file. Every year is a debt...
2005: $434
2006: $670
2007: $1094
and now 2009: $698.69
Except for '09, the others are what I owed during those filing years. The figures don't account for the years of penalties and interest they'll tack on.
And I know there will be issues with 2010's taxes where I took a $4500 exception I wasn't really entitled to. They will probably figure that one out too.
I predicted this all a while ago, of course. I guess it's like they say. There're two things you just can't avoid. Death and taxes.